Plans, Not Resolutions

Every year, we all make resolutions to make some improvements on our lives.  For most of us, we also fail to live up to those resolutions every year.  Why is that and how can we change it?  I think it is largely in the way we approach our resolutions.  The word resolution means that you are resolving in your inner being to put all of your effort and energy and will power into making this thing happen.  So why doesn't it?  Probably because we have lost sight of this meaning. 

When we make our resolutions, we make grand sweeping and very generalized statements like "I'm going to lose weight/get in shape/be more organized/spend more time with my kids".  Then we go on about our lives expecting these things to change somehow.  Sure, we might start out cutting way back on our food intake and clean out the junk drawer in our kitchen and play with our kids until they go back to school, but then what?  Then we get back into our hectic schedules and scrambling to keep it all together and any changes fly out the window before they have taken root.

This year, I am not going to make any resolutions. I am going to make plans.  There has been study after study to show that, to succeed in accomplishing a big project (loosing weight, organizing the house), you need to break it down into smaller portions and create a step by step plan. 

Two things happen when we try to tackle something like that without doing this preparatory step first:
1.  The task seems too big and daunting and we don't know where to start.  We might get started but soon become overwhelmed at the magnitude and quit.
2.  With no clear direction, we become easily distracted by other (smaller and easier to complete) tasks and loose focus on completing this one.

I'm sure you all know how to make a plan, but just in case you'd like some advice, here is a general idea of how to break down those big goals into a workable plan.
1. Start with your big ideas. Take some time and make a list of ALL the things you'd like to do, even that trip to Paris.  No, you're not going to be able to do them all this year.  This is the beginning of your plan for far beyond this year. 
2. Prioritize your list.  Exercising and eating right are things that I always push onto a back burner but, when I think how important teaching my kids healthy habits and being able to play with them is, I realize it needs to be a much higher priority.  You also might be surprised at how much you really want to take that trip to Paris is to you.
3. Go back and change your list from general ideas to specifics.
 "Lose weight" becomes "lose 20 pounds". 
 "Get in shape" becomes "exercise 4 days a week".
 "Get organized" becomes "keep house clean" and "make a schedule/plan ahead so we aren't always running late"
 "Go to Paris" becomes "go to Paris for a week on our 10th anniversary"
4. Now take each item and break it down into steps. What needs to happen to complete the whole task? Some, like exercising 4 days a week requires no preparation except allotting time in your schedule for it and choosing what activities you want to do for exercise.  Others, like keeping the house clean or the trip to Paris, will require multiple steps.  The smaller you can make your steps, the easier the task will seem because you will have specific directions and almost immediately be able to check items off.
5. At this point, you need to be thinking about time frames.  Some of these tasks are ongoing.  For those, you need to look at your schedule and allot time for them each day/week.  For the big, one time goals, set a time frame in which you want it to be completed. Otherwise, it will keep getting pushed aside.  Remember that you may not have time to accomplish all of these this year, but you might still want to begin preparing for some of the future ones (like saving money for that trip). Be realistic about how much time you have available to work on your projects.  don't forget to allow extra time for unplanned things to come up!

My two main projects for this year are to work with my horses more and to get my house organized so that it will be easier to clean up.  The long term goal for both of those is that I can use them to invest in my relationships with people. I want to be able to go riding with my kids & friends and I want to be able to invite our friends over without having to worry about the house being a disaster if they say yes!

I'll tell you what. I'm going to give myself a reason to get the house done. Once it's cleaned and orderly, I'm going to have a party!
Have fun planning what you will do when you complete your goals!