I wrote in my last post that we have recently started homeschooling. We started after the school year had already begun, so we were in a bit of a rush to put things together. I went back and forth between buying a pre-packaged curriculumn and creating my own since J is sort of between grades. If we had started planning over the summer, I definitely would have put together my own. To get things started, and since I felt a little overwhelmed, I purchased a curriculum.
I purchased the Bigger Hearts for His Glory curriculum from Heart of Dakota because it covered all subjects and had some hands on activities. I liked the way they tied all of the subjects together but as I read the history books they used, I was not a fan of the way they read & neither was J, but we did like the science. We also discovered that there were so many subjects each day, it required a lot of time at home to do them all and J and I both wanted more freedom to be able to go out for social events and field trips. I also have the additional time requirement of taking care of the barn and horses.
Since I already had a curriculum, I did not feel the need to rush into purchasing something else. It allowed me time to look around and see what I thought might work better. I have discovered that J does better to focus in on a few subjects in more detail than doing a bunch of changing gears in one day. So, instead of trying to do a whole bunch of different stuff each day, we pick a couple of main projects or subjects to focus on and add some math and reading.
One of the advantages of homeschooling is being able to change course and customize until you find what works for your child. I had already been teaching math using workbooks I had purchased over the summer and games I found on Teachers Pay Teachers. My real concern was reading and writing. I liked the idea of introducing history but I didn't want that to be the focus. I wanted what history we did learn to be more fun and I wanted to give J more opportunities for real writing, not copy work.
I looked around online and found several sources for LEGO and seasonal story starters, which J is loving! I also discovered Tapestry of Grace which is more focused on history than I want to be but had a great list of interesting, age-appropriate stories based on both real and fictional people living in the time period being studied. J actually wanted me to keep going when we were reading their books! It was through their book list that I found author Laurie Carlson. She has written a series of books which focus on a specific time frame and contains factual/informational text but also has recipes, games and projects that children in that time period would have eaten, played or made! So awesome!
Since we like to be out doing things, we do a lot of reading and math on the road. I teach the ideas at home and then, once he has the concept, we do the practice on the way to activities.
Speaking of activities: one thing that has been very important for both of us, since we are both extroverts, is finding a group of friends! Luckily for us, we already knew some homeschoolers without even realizing it. One of the families at our church told me about a local "support group" which does not host classes but puts together social events and field trips as well as acting as a network for sharing information about available opportunities for homeschoolers. I also discovered that two of his friends from soccer were in a co-op which met weekly for classes. We quickly joined both groups. This was by far one of the best decisions I have made in this whole process. Even in the short time we have been a part of these groups, we have both found some precious life long friends.
We ended up deciding not to do the classes with the co-op for now and just joining them for social events and field trips. Several of J's new friends have been going to a program at a YMCA near us that offers art, sports and swimming. The only problem was that it was three hours long and the day before co-op classes. Having the two back to back was a little too exciting for someone who gets overwhelmed/excited easily. We decided that he needed the activity and social time more than he needed the classes. The "Gym & Swim" is on Mondays, so I'm looking for another regular activity later in the week. I also plan on leaving on day open for field trips. If we can spend the days in between working at home, he will be ready to go for our active days. As he learns to handle more stuff at one time, we'll add classes back in.
A brief explanation on scheduling with anxiety:
Every kid is different. Even kids with the same issues will respond to them differently.
One of the things we have learned with J is that he gets what I call "ramped up" good and bad. If there is too much going on, whether it's visual stimulation, too much on the schedule, being tired or stress in relationships, he gets stressed out and will become overly excited (good or bad) or avoid the thing making him uncomfortable by hyper focusing on something else.
We are learning that he can handle things up to a certain point, but when he starts showing one of the above signs, he needs some space and time to calm himself back down before he's ready to take on more, even from things he likes. Too much of a good thing can be very bad for his stress level.
As you can see, we are still working on finding our rhythm, but we are getting closer!
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
The Root of the Poblem
Well, my dear reader, we have had some Major life changes in the past few months.
I had posted before about some of our frustrations with school. Our son J has had issues two years in a row. We discovered over the summer that the root cause was anxiety.
We Never would have pegged J as having anxiety. He is exuberant, extroverted and strong-willed. Interestingly, these all made him more difficult to diagnose. Once we did get the diagnosis, some of the things we have had issues with suddenly made sense. I won't go into all the details here, but suffice it to say that it was affecting pretty much every area of our lives.
We are still learning how to work with this new information. We have a lot to learn. The good news is, now that we know the cause of the problems, we can address them in a more appropriate manner. The results have been a much happier kid, a happier sibling and very relieved parents!
One of the biggest changes that has come of this is that we are now homeschooling. We explained what was going on with J to his teacher at the beginning of the school year, what the "symptoms" looked like and some possible solutions.
Long story short, since he does not come across as the anxiety-filled stereotype, she did not believe the diagnosis and tried to discipline the undesirable behavior. If she had asked, we could have told her that didn't work. We had tried that for Years.
By the third week of school, his stress level (and ours) was unbearable, so we made the decision to pull him out.
The funny thing in all this was that we had talked about homeschooling before we had kids. I was a kinesthetic (hands on) learner and thought that, if our kids were that way, we could do more hands on learning. I also liked the idea of being able to explore an area of interest more deeply and go on field trips instead of just reading about things.
We tried private school, we tried public school, and now we have come back to what we originally discussed. Why are we so reluctant to do something different?
For the record: I am not anti-public school. My mom is a retired public school teacher. My grandmother was a principle. And three of my dearest friends are public school teachers and one private. I KNOW how overworked, under paid and under appreciated they are. I know how many spend hours and hours trying to figure out how to help students that are struggling. Unfortunately for J, he needs someone who can watch him closely enough to see when he is starting to get stressed out, figure out the cause and try to help him get past it. No teacher with 22 other students to attend to is going to be able to give him that kind of attention (even if she agrees with the diagnosis).
I do wish we would have made the decision over the summer so I would have had time to look at curriculum, etc. before we started. I was fortunate to know a few homeschoolers who quickly compiled lists of helpful websites, curriculums and local groups. We ended up joining a "support group" that is mostly social & does field trips and a co-op that meets weekly for classes and play time.
As I researched, I discovered that there are as many ways to do homeschool as there are families who do it! Some people do classes and memorization just like a regular school, some are very "literature-driven", some teach other subjects by studying history, some relate all subjects to a topic of the week or unit, some follow a packaged curriculum, many put together their own combination. And many of the books used by various curriculums are available at the library or free on Kindle. The possibilities are endless!!
Another thing I discovered is that there are WAY more learning opportunities and classes offered by museums, zoos, even amusement parks like Legoland and Disney World than I had ever imagined!
I think I can handle this ;)
The bottom line is, know your kids. What is their basic personality? That's not going to change. Learn to work with it. Having problems? Maybe you need help finding the root cause. That is the key to being able to improve them. Figure out what works for Your kids. Don't worry about what everybody else is doing. Everybody else doesn't have Your kids.
I had posted before about some of our frustrations with school. Our son J has had issues two years in a row. We discovered over the summer that the root cause was anxiety.
We Never would have pegged J as having anxiety. He is exuberant, extroverted and strong-willed. Interestingly, these all made him more difficult to diagnose. Once we did get the diagnosis, some of the things we have had issues with suddenly made sense. I won't go into all the details here, but suffice it to say that it was affecting pretty much every area of our lives.
We are still learning how to work with this new information. We have a lot to learn. The good news is, now that we know the cause of the problems, we can address them in a more appropriate manner. The results have been a much happier kid, a happier sibling and very relieved parents!
One of the biggest changes that has come of this is that we are now homeschooling. We explained what was going on with J to his teacher at the beginning of the school year, what the "symptoms" looked like and some possible solutions.
Long story short, since he does not come across as the anxiety-filled stereotype, she did not believe the diagnosis and tried to discipline the undesirable behavior. If she had asked, we could have told her that didn't work. We had tried that for Years.
By the third week of school, his stress level (and ours) was unbearable, so we made the decision to pull him out.
The funny thing in all this was that we had talked about homeschooling before we had kids. I was a kinesthetic (hands on) learner and thought that, if our kids were that way, we could do more hands on learning. I also liked the idea of being able to explore an area of interest more deeply and go on field trips instead of just reading about things.
We tried private school, we tried public school, and now we have come back to what we originally discussed. Why are we so reluctant to do something different?
For the record: I am not anti-public school. My mom is a retired public school teacher. My grandmother was a principle. And three of my dearest friends are public school teachers and one private. I KNOW how overworked, under paid and under appreciated they are. I know how many spend hours and hours trying to figure out how to help students that are struggling. Unfortunately for J, he needs someone who can watch him closely enough to see when he is starting to get stressed out, figure out the cause and try to help him get past it. No teacher with 22 other students to attend to is going to be able to give him that kind of attention (even if she agrees with the diagnosis).
I do wish we would have made the decision over the summer so I would have had time to look at curriculum, etc. before we started. I was fortunate to know a few homeschoolers who quickly compiled lists of helpful websites, curriculums and local groups. We ended up joining a "support group" that is mostly social & does field trips and a co-op that meets weekly for classes and play time.
As I researched, I discovered that there are as many ways to do homeschool as there are families who do it! Some people do classes and memorization just like a regular school, some are very "literature-driven", some teach other subjects by studying history, some relate all subjects to a topic of the week or unit, some follow a packaged curriculum, many put together their own combination. And many of the books used by various curriculums are available at the library or free on Kindle. The possibilities are endless!!
Another thing I discovered is that there are WAY more learning opportunities and classes offered by museums, zoos, even amusement parks like Legoland and Disney World than I had ever imagined!
I think I can handle this ;)
The bottom line is, know your kids. What is their basic personality? That's not going to change. Learn to work with it. Having problems? Maybe you need help finding the root cause. That is the key to being able to improve them. Figure out what works for Your kids. Don't worry about what everybody else is doing. Everybody else doesn't have Your kids.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Garbage, Good, Better, Best
Over this last week, the kids and I were able to get away to Florida to visit my family. Unfortunately, The Hubs is right in the middle of a large project and was not able to come. As much as we missed him, some good things happened on our trip.
The big thing for me was a chance to get out from under my giant to-do list for a bit. I have such a tendency to get bogged down in all the things I'm supposed to be doing and feeling like I'm not getting to enough of them. When that happens, I loose track of the more important things in my life. That was the whole issue that led to this blog.
Even better was, with over twenty-five hours worth of driving and nights without barn chores (yes, that's how I spend my evenings after the kids go to bed), I was able to listen to some good podcasts, namely Living on the Edge and Focus on the Family, and read a book (well, most of it) by Kay Wills Wyma called Cleaning House: A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement.
Between the three of these, I have been able to take a breath and realize that it's okay. It's okay that the gardens and house are not ready for a Better Homes and Gardens photoshoot. It's okay that my kids aren't perfect all of the time. It's okay that I don't make every meal from scratch, or sometimes at all. What is important is that my husband and children know that they are loved. I think I've done a pretty good job in that department. And not that I have been perfect in this area. Who has? But perfection is not what is required. Love is.
Now that this Humongous weight has been lifted, I can move on to some of the other things I have heard and read to maybe improve some of the other areas.
The main one that has been bothering me is the disorganization/messiness of the house. And not just for myself. I feel bad for The Hubs coming home from a long day at work and not being able to relax because there is more stuff that needs to be done when he gets home. I feel bad for The Boy because he needs to be able to invite friends over to develop those close friendships I want for him and right now he can't. I feel bad that we built our house with the intention of making it a place where God can use us and my Gift of hospitality but have yet to really use it.
So putting the ideas of teaching kids to be helpful and put others first And that it doesn't do us any good to have all this stuff if we can't find it or don't have room to use it... Josh and I are going to spend a good bit of the summer getting our house in shape.
Garbage, Good, Better, Best
These are the signs/bins I'm going to make. We are going to toss the junk, donate the stuff that is good but we don't need, and keep the best. We'll probably keep stuff that falls in the "Better" category for now. Even throwing away the old broken stuff is hard for my little hoarder.
Some of the encouraging thoughts I have come across in my reading/listening lately:
1. Sometimes God says no to something "good" so he can say yes to something better later.
2. God wants the Best for us, not second best.
3. Of stuff and things to do: Why do we waste so much time, energy and money on things that are not truly fulfilling to us, don't enrich our lives and sap our energy? You don't have to do or have everything. Choose a few and really enjoy them.
4. Of how to prioritize time: I don't have to do every activity presented. There are other people who can do my job or fill the spot in that group. There is NOT another person who can be the mom/dad to MY kids and the husband/wife to MY spouse. The difference between need and want. The other groups/people may want my time, but my family NEEDS my time.
Choose what is BEST in your life and get rid of the clutter that's keeping you from it.
The big thing for me was a chance to get out from under my giant to-do list for a bit. I have such a tendency to get bogged down in all the things I'm supposed to be doing and feeling like I'm not getting to enough of them. When that happens, I loose track of the more important things in my life. That was the whole issue that led to this blog.
Even better was, with over twenty-five hours worth of driving and nights without barn chores (yes, that's how I spend my evenings after the kids go to bed), I was able to listen to some good podcasts, namely Living on the Edge and Focus on the Family, and read a book (well, most of it) by Kay Wills Wyma called Cleaning House: A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement.
Between the three of these, I have been able to take a breath and realize that it's okay. It's okay that the gardens and house are not ready for a Better Homes and Gardens photoshoot. It's okay that my kids aren't perfect all of the time. It's okay that I don't make every meal from scratch, or sometimes at all. What is important is that my husband and children know that they are loved. I think I've done a pretty good job in that department. And not that I have been perfect in this area. Who has? But perfection is not what is required. Love is.
Now that this Humongous weight has been lifted, I can move on to some of the other things I have heard and read to maybe improve some of the other areas.
The main one that has been bothering me is the disorganization/messiness of the house. And not just for myself. I feel bad for The Hubs coming home from a long day at work and not being able to relax because there is more stuff that needs to be done when he gets home. I feel bad for The Boy because he needs to be able to invite friends over to develop those close friendships I want for him and right now he can't. I feel bad that we built our house with the intention of making it a place where God can use us and my Gift of hospitality but have yet to really use it.
So putting the ideas of teaching kids to be helpful and put others first And that it doesn't do us any good to have all this stuff if we can't find it or don't have room to use it... Josh and I are going to spend a good bit of the summer getting our house in shape.
Garbage, Good, Better, Best
These are the signs/bins I'm going to make. We are going to toss the junk, donate the stuff that is good but we don't need, and keep the best. We'll probably keep stuff that falls in the "Better" category for now. Even throwing away the old broken stuff is hard for my little hoarder.
Some of the encouraging thoughts I have come across in my reading/listening lately:
1. Sometimes God says no to something "good" so he can say yes to something better later.
2. God wants the Best for us, not second best.
3. Of stuff and things to do: Why do we waste so much time, energy and money on things that are not truly fulfilling to us, don't enrich our lives and sap our energy? You don't have to do or have everything. Choose a few and really enjoy them.
4. Of how to prioritize time: I don't have to do every activity presented. There are other people who can do my job or fill the spot in that group. There is NOT another person who can be the mom/dad to MY kids and the husband/wife to MY spouse. The difference between need and want. The other groups/people may want my time, but my family NEEDS my time.
Choose what is BEST in your life and get rid of the clutter that's keeping you from it.
Monday, April 8, 2013
A Little Sugar
You know that old expression that "you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar"? Well, I guess for my son, discipline is vinegar and praise is sugar. After a couple of difficult months at school where he and the staff were both becoming frustrated, I realized that the more they tried to "crack down" on him, the worse his attitude became and the more trouble he had. What do you do?
I thought back over his childhood. What was his basic, driving personality? What would make him "straighten up"? None of the things he had done were malicious, but there were some issues with respect/obedience for adults.
The long and short of it was that we have a smart kid who is done and ready to move on while others are still working and the teacher is helping those students. Enter boredom. We also have a VERY kinesthetic child who cannot sit still for more than five minutes. Enter excess energy. We also just happen to have an extroverted kid who wants to have someone paying attention to him at ALL times. Enter silly behavior to get attention. And just to make it interesting, he is also very Strong willed. Enter willingness to take the consequences to get some attention.
As author Cynthia Tobias said of herself (another strong-willed child), "I don't have a problem with authority. I have a problem with how it's presented." She then explained that, if you come at her pointing your finger in her face, she will defy you just to prove that you are NOT the boss of her. However, if you come to her in a manner that asks her to work with you, she'll most likely do it.
Now how do we translate this to school?
I knew that we were at a cross-roads.
I knew that if he continued to recieve mostly negative attention, there was the distinct possibility that he would quit trying to be good. I had a friend that did that. He told me one day that everyone had already decided he was "the bad seed" and he was tired of trying to prove that he wasn't. I didn't want that to happen to J.
I also knew how hard he would try if he really thought he could get your honest approval. I had seen it before. When you acknowledge something good or helpful that he does (especially without being asked), he starts doing more things to try to get that "atta-boy" again (remember the extrovert part?). That sounded like a much better way to go.
So I talked to the principle and teacher and they are trying to make more of an effort to recognize when he has done something good. And you know what happened?
The first day, the teacher sent home a note about a good choice he made. Did that have any effect on him?
It is amazing. From that simple change, we have gotten not one, but TWO weeks of good attitude and good, even helpful, behavior both at school and at home. All he needed was a chance to believe that we saw the good in him.
If you know someone who has been struggling with a bad attitude or behavior, try finding just ONE good thing that you can take notice of and see if they don't start adding more.
And no matter how frustrating your kids can be (I understand!) make sure that they know that, not only do you love them, but you CHOOSE them over any other kid. Watch the effect that THAT has on them!
I thought back over his childhood. What was his basic, driving personality? What would make him "straighten up"? None of the things he had done were malicious, but there were some issues with respect/obedience for adults.
The long and short of it was that we have a smart kid who is done and ready to move on while others are still working and the teacher is helping those students. Enter boredom. We also have a VERY kinesthetic child who cannot sit still for more than five minutes. Enter excess energy. We also just happen to have an extroverted kid who wants to have someone paying attention to him at ALL times. Enter silly behavior to get attention. And just to make it interesting, he is also very Strong willed. Enter willingness to take the consequences to get some attention.
As author Cynthia Tobias said of herself (another strong-willed child), "I don't have a problem with authority. I have a problem with how it's presented." She then explained that, if you come at her pointing your finger in her face, she will defy you just to prove that you are NOT the boss of her. However, if you come to her in a manner that asks her to work with you, she'll most likely do it.
Now how do we translate this to school?
I knew that we were at a cross-roads.
I knew that if he continued to recieve mostly negative attention, there was the distinct possibility that he would quit trying to be good. I had a friend that did that. He told me one day that everyone had already decided he was "the bad seed" and he was tired of trying to prove that he wasn't. I didn't want that to happen to J.
I also knew how hard he would try if he really thought he could get your honest approval. I had seen it before. When you acknowledge something good or helpful that he does (especially without being asked), he starts doing more things to try to get that "atta-boy" again (remember the extrovert part?). That sounded like a much better way to go.
So I talked to the principle and teacher and they are trying to make more of an effort to recognize when he has done something good. And you know what happened?
The first day, the teacher sent home a note about a good choice he made. Did that have any effect on him?
It is amazing. From that simple change, we have gotten not one, but TWO weeks of good attitude and good, even helpful, behavior both at school and at home. All he needed was a chance to believe that we saw the good in him.
Did I mention silly & extroverted?
If you know someone who has been struggling with a bad attitude or behavior, try finding just ONE good thing that you can take notice of and see if they don't start adding more.
And no matter how frustrating your kids can be (I understand!) make sure that they know that, not only do you love them, but you CHOOSE them over any other kid. Watch the effect that THAT has on them!
Friday, April 5, 2013
The Great Bread Experiment: Artisan Bread
I posted last week that I finally figured out what I was doing wrong and, in the process, found a great recipe. In my search for a good recipe, I bought a "Guide To Homemade Bread" magazine from Grit. Becky Sell wrote an article on the Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day that I keep hearing about. It sounded pretty easy, so I decided to give it a try.
What I got was a very flavorful Italian like bread. A little too heavy for sandwiches, but great as a dinner or breakfast bread. This bread worked with just butter, honey, jelly and as garlic bread. We loved it!You could also add other things into it, like herbs or cheese for more flavor.
Sorry I didn't get pictures. I wasn't sure it would work after my first three fiascos. I'll take some and post them next time.
Ingredients:
3 cups warm water
1 1/2 Tbs salt (sea or Kosher, NOT table)
1 1/2 Tbs dry yeast
6 1/2 c all-purp flour, NOT packed
*can sub up to 2 1/2 c whole wheat flour*
Directions:
1. Pour warm water into mixing bowl. Add salt, then gently add yeast (it will spread across top).
2. Add flour. Turn mixer on lowest speed until you have noticed that it slows down (about 30 secs). Turn mixer up a notch and mix until dough starts to form a ball and pick up the extra flour from around the edges (about 30 secs).
3. Remove bowl from mixer. Scrape dough off dough hook. Cover bowl with lid that doesn't seal completely and let rise for for 2 hours. The dough will be sticky. You can put it in the fridge for an hour or so to make it more manageable.
4. Sprinkle bottom of baking pan or stone with flour, cornmeal, etc or grease with butter or line with parchment paper.
5. For Round Loaves: form two balls and place on baking/pizza stone
For Pan Loaves: form loaves, place in loaf pans
Slash tops of loaves to allow even rise.
6. Place a boiler pan or brownie pan on the bottom rack when you turn on the oven. Just before putting the bread in the oven, carefully pour 1 1/2 cups water into the pan, put bread in and quickly close the door.
7. Bake round loaves at 450 for 30 min or pan loaves at 350 for 60 min.
Dough can be stored in a non-airtight container in fridge for up to two weeks. It becomes sourdough after one week.
What I got was a very flavorful Italian like bread. A little too heavy for sandwiches, but great as a dinner or breakfast bread. This bread worked with just butter, honey, jelly and as garlic bread. We loved it!You could also add other things into it, like herbs or cheese for more flavor.
Sorry I didn't get pictures. I wasn't sure it would work after my first three fiascos. I'll take some and post them next time.
Ingredients:
3 cups warm water
1 1/2 Tbs salt (sea or Kosher, NOT table)
1 1/2 Tbs dry yeast
6 1/2 c all-purp flour, NOT packed
*can sub up to 2 1/2 c whole wheat flour*
Directions:
1. Pour warm water into mixing bowl. Add salt, then gently add yeast (it will spread across top).
2. Add flour. Turn mixer on lowest speed until you have noticed that it slows down (about 30 secs). Turn mixer up a notch and mix until dough starts to form a ball and pick up the extra flour from around the edges (about 30 secs).
3. Remove bowl from mixer. Scrape dough off dough hook. Cover bowl with lid that doesn't seal completely and let rise for for 2 hours. The dough will be sticky. You can put it in the fridge for an hour or so to make it more manageable.
4. Sprinkle bottom of baking pan or stone with flour, cornmeal, etc or grease with butter or line with parchment paper.
5. For Round Loaves: form two balls and place on baking/pizza stone
For Pan Loaves: form loaves, place in loaf pans
Slash tops of loaves to allow even rise.
6. Place a boiler pan or brownie pan on the bottom rack when you turn on the oven. Just before putting the bread in the oven, carefully pour 1 1/2 cups water into the pan, put bread in and quickly close the door.
7. Bake round loaves at 450 for 30 min or pan loaves at 350 for 60 min.
Dough can be stored in a non-airtight container in fridge for up to two weeks. It becomes sourdough after one week.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
"I do it Myself!"
"I do it Myself!" This is something my just turned two year old proudly declares when (she thinks) she has done something all by herself. She is so excited and proud of her newfound ability to accomplish things. Somewhere along the line, most of us lose that and would rather have someone else do things for us. We as a culture have lost the work ethic and ingenuity that made our country great. Well, I for one, am working on getting mine back.
It's not that I've ever been a slacker, but I have been so caught up in being busy, that I haven't had time to enjoy and take pride in my work. Even in the mundane like laundry, you can look at the piles of clean and neatly folded clothes and towels and take a moment to feel that sense of accomplishment that you did a good job. It doesn't matter that half of them will be dirty again the next day. It matters that you did your job well today.
I have realized that there are many "chores" that I actually enjoy if I am not doing a slip-shod rush job to get on to the next thing. There is something about knowing that I helped make my part of the world a nicer, more beautiful place that makes me happy. By the same token, when I am doing a slip-shod rush job, I get no enjoyment from it all; partly because I am not giving myself time to enjoy it and partly because I know I am not doing as good of a job as I can do or should be doing.
I also had another realization: my kids are learning their work ethic or lack there of from me. If I want them to feel like doing something for yourself can be rewarding, I have to show that in my attitude and how I approach chores and projects. I also have to get them (at least the six year old) involved and not do everything for them. That second part we've already been working on and I think it will be easier if he sees a positive attitude from me about my own work.
On a side note, I have been becoming more and more aware of a few things regarding some of the cleaning chores which are really starting to bother me.
1. Have you noticed that almost EVERY disease and "disability" is on the rise in our country? Particularly cancer, autism, gastro-intestinal issues and immune system issues (allergies).
2. Have you noticed that almost EVERY food, drink and cleaner marketed for Americans to put in and around our bodies are chock full of chemicals or are "genetically modified"?
3. Have you noticed how ridiculous the prices are for the chemicals to "clean" your house so you won't get sick?
4. Have you noticed how widely prescribed and expensive the medicines are to treat the issues from #1 are?
5. Have you noticed there's not a whole lot of publicity about all of this?
So I'm thinking that #1 & #2 are CLEARLY related. And I'm thinking that all the big political supporters are making so much money off of #3 & #4 that they don't want anything changed, hence #5.
I'm not expecting any politicians or companies to do anything about this anytime soon. However, I can take steps to change that in my own house.
Instead of buying the expensive chemicals that someone else made, I am going to be trying some good old DIY (thank you Pinterest) Non-toxic cleaners which, by the way, cost a fraction of the brand name cleaning chemicals. We (got to have helpers for this one) are also going to plant our own garden so that we know what has and has not been put on the plants. I am going to use as many heirloom plants as I can since I know that they have not been genetically modified.
I've already gotten started, and I will let you know how my experiments turn out!
It's not that I've ever been a slacker, but I have been so caught up in being busy, that I haven't had time to enjoy and take pride in my work. Even in the mundane like laundry, you can look at the piles of clean and neatly folded clothes and towels and take a moment to feel that sense of accomplishment that you did a good job. It doesn't matter that half of them will be dirty again the next day. It matters that you did your job well today.
I have realized that there are many "chores" that I actually enjoy if I am not doing a slip-shod rush job to get on to the next thing. There is something about knowing that I helped make my part of the world a nicer, more beautiful place that makes me happy. By the same token, when I am doing a slip-shod rush job, I get no enjoyment from it all; partly because I am not giving myself time to enjoy it and partly because I know I am not doing as good of a job as I can do or should be doing.
I also had another realization: my kids are learning their work ethic or lack there of from me. If I want them to feel like doing something for yourself can be rewarding, I have to show that in my attitude and how I approach chores and projects. I also have to get them (at least the six year old) involved and not do everything for them. That second part we've already been working on and I think it will be easier if he sees a positive attitude from me about my own work.
On a side note, I have been becoming more and more aware of a few things regarding some of the cleaning chores which are really starting to bother me.
1. Have you noticed that almost EVERY disease and "disability" is on the rise in our country? Particularly cancer, autism, gastro-intestinal issues and immune system issues (allergies).
2. Have you noticed that almost EVERY food, drink and cleaner marketed for Americans to put in and around our bodies are chock full of chemicals or are "genetically modified"?
3. Have you noticed how ridiculous the prices are for the chemicals to "clean" your house so you won't get sick?
4. Have you noticed how widely prescribed and expensive the medicines are to treat the issues from #1 are?
5. Have you noticed there's not a whole lot of publicity about all of this?
So I'm thinking that #1 & #2 are CLEARLY related. And I'm thinking that all the big political supporters are making so much money off of #3 & #4 that they don't want anything changed, hence #5.
I'm not expecting any politicians or companies to do anything about this anytime soon. However, I can take steps to change that in my own house.
Instead of buying the expensive chemicals that someone else made, I am going to be trying some good old DIY (thank you Pinterest) Non-toxic cleaners which, by the way, cost a fraction of the brand name cleaning chemicals. We (got to have helpers for this one) are also going to plant our own garden so that we know what has and has not been put on the plants. I am going to use as many heirloom plants as I can since I know that they have not been genetically modified.
I've already gotten started, and I will let you know how my experiments turn out!
Saturday, March 23, 2013
A Lesson Learned From The Great Bread Experiment
For those of you who have been following us, you know I have embarked on a mission to find some good bread recipes. Making almost anything at home is cheaper but it is also safer because you can eliminate all of those unknown preservatives and other artificial things, many of which are known to be unhealthy for you. In our case, it is also ensures that there is no danger of traces of tree nuts.
Well, if you read my posts about the first two loaves of bread I made, white and whole wheat, you will find similar reviews. The overall appearance and flavor was not bad but both were way more dense than what I was looking for in a sandwich bread and you could really taste the flour in both. When I got to honey wheat and had the same result even though the recipe came from a different cookbook, I knew the problem was me.
I have done plenty of baking, but it had always been desserts, many times from mixes, or savory dishes. I had no idea how to figure out what I had done wrong. Did I knead them too much, too little or not get the yeast active enough? I was pretty sure I had followed all those directions. The kicker to me was that I had used nowhere Near the amount of flour called for in the recipes, so how in the World did they taste like flour?
Finally, as I was looking through a magazine on homemade breads (more on that later), a woman commented in her article about not packing the flour. Well, I looked at the recipes. They all said X cups of flour. There was no note about sifting the flour or anything like that. However, that seemed to be the most likely source of the problem so when I made her bread, which turned out to be Delicious, I stirred the flour before measuring it.
Lesson learned: stir or loosen the flour before measuring, at least for bread.
So I guess now I have to go back and retry the other recipes with the corrected amount of flour. I'll let you know how they turn out.
Well, if you read my posts about the first two loaves of bread I made, white and whole wheat, you will find similar reviews. The overall appearance and flavor was not bad but both were way more dense than what I was looking for in a sandwich bread and you could really taste the flour in both. When I got to honey wheat and had the same result even though the recipe came from a different cookbook, I knew the problem was me.
I have done plenty of baking, but it had always been desserts, many times from mixes, or savory dishes. I had no idea how to figure out what I had done wrong. Did I knead them too much, too little or not get the yeast active enough? I was pretty sure I had followed all those directions. The kicker to me was that I had used nowhere Near the amount of flour called for in the recipes, so how in the World did they taste like flour?
Finally, as I was looking through a magazine on homemade breads (more on that later), a woman commented in her article about not packing the flour. Well, I looked at the recipes. They all said X cups of flour. There was no note about sifting the flour or anything like that. However, that seemed to be the most likely source of the problem so when I made her bread, which turned out to be Delicious, I stirred the flour before measuring it.
Lesson learned: stir or loosen the flour before measuring, at least for bread.
So I guess now I have to go back and retry the other recipes with the corrected amount of flour. I'll let you know how they turn out.
Technical Delay
For my two readers: sorry for the delay between posts. We've been having technical issues. Technology and I are NOT friends. My poor husband, who is still on a first name basis with technology, had to rebuild my whole laptop. I tried to do a post from both my fancy iPhone and my Kindle and neither one would do it properly, so I decided to wait until it could be done right. Thanks for your patience.
Now to play some catch up!
Now to play some catch up!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Mishap Magnet
You have to laugh when things go wrong.
At least I do. I know it sounds weird. But I have to.
You see, I am a bona fide Mishap Magnet. It's true. Ask my mom. She used to call me her "little walking accident". If it could be knocked over, tripped over or run into I'd find it. I have a special knack for things not going quite according to plan.
I have been very fortunate that not very many of my mishaps have been on the scale of life threatening, although there have been a few of those, too. Most of them are those little inconveniences that we just don't have the time or patience to deal with. Sometimes they seem so big because they impact something else but, in the long-run, they aren't that big. That's what we have to remember. Most of these won't matter in five years.
Along my journey down the accident-laden trail, I have realized something. Things almost Never go according to plan and it's going to affect you. Here's the thing: you decide how they affect you.
I see so many people who allow these little frustrations to get to them. They get mad or irritated or feel put upon and let that feeling grow and grow with each event. Eventually, all of these little things build up into one big giant thing and they are bitter and unhappy because their life isn't what they want it to be.
Things go wrong for everyone. And everyone has the choice to dwell on them or laugh at them and let them go.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I never get frustrated. I'm an emotional extrovert by nature, so I understand the frustration and irritation and exasperation. But then, you've got to see the humor and the irony in these things. I learned to chuckle at the sitcom qualities of my life (even in the midst of a moment of exasperation) a long time ago and it's been one of the best life lessons for me. Because things are going to go wrong. A lot. And I want to enjoy my life.
For your enjoyment, a few examples from my own life. Go ahead, laugh. It's good for you.
- Lost keys/phone/homework/backpack/shoes/you name it as you're trying to head out the door to work or school.
- Accidentally deleted over twelve pages of a fifteen page paper
- Barely finishing a paper on time and the printer wouldn't print (technology and I aren't friends)
- Spent over an hour gathering groceries (making sure to check for sales). Get in line with a full cart, put everything on the counter and...left my wallet at home. And I've done that one more than once!
- Got stopped for speeding when I was running late for an important meeting at work.
- Drove four hours to a conference I was leading music at, got ten minuted from the hotel and my car dies. Apparently, when I had my oil changed a few days before, they didn't think it odd that they didn't have to take any oil out to put several quarts in and did not notice the quarter-sized hole in my oil pan. Had to replace the entire engine.
- Got a new car. Had a friend drive it home for me the day we bought it. She got in a wreck. Officer: How long have you had this car? Me: One day!
- New house (no fence), puppy in master w/pee pad in bathroom. No pee, but he Did destroy the Entire bed set: pillows, comforter, etc along with several books and shoes and the bed frame. It literally looked like it had snowed from all the pillow fluff.
- Got paint to match an item to go in a room, painted the whole room and the color didn't match.
- Tied orange tape to the trees we wanted to save when clearing for our house. They knocked those down the first day!
- Rode six horses at the barn I worked at, no problem. My back went out getting off a little pony who was standing still! Out of commission for three weeks.
- Was going to show my cousins my riding (they had never seen me do it). Get to the barn and someone had used the horse I was supposed to ride. She was handed to me hot and sweaty, so I hosed her off and took her out bareback. And it was July 4th. And someone shot of illegal fireworks. And I wasn't wearing a helmet... hellloooo concussion!
- So far I have brought two hurricanes and three tropical storms with me when I have visited my dad and stepmom.
- Visiting my dad and stepmom (they lived on a boat), the dingy to get to shore couldn't hold all three of us plus my bag, so dad rowed me & my bag to shore, then I was supposed to row back out to the boat to get my stepmom. At four o'clock in the morning (the airport was on another island). With a hurricane coming. Between the dark and the wind and high waves, I couldn't find the boat. I circled the anchorage twice before I heard her calling to me. Thought I was going to drown within sight of land on that one!
- Had my nose broken three times. All on accident. All by people I know. One was my mother by opening a door (love you Mom!).
- My "not broken" toe still has a bump that hurts when you push on it five months later.
- Twice pulled a muscle without moving more than six inches!
- Spent a week planning something special for the boy for good behavior and had to cancel because he decided to make up for lost time misbehaving the day of the event.
- Spending an hour picking up a mess it took my child two minutes to make (again and again and again)
- Telling a child not to do something and they just have to do it one more time (again and again and again). Come on, it's funny. Especially when they have been warned there will be consequences and you know they are going to do it anyway. It's like they can't stop themselves.
- Got all dressed up for a Halloween birthday party and, when we got there, no one was there. The party had been the day before.
- My wedding gets it's own category:
- The caterer for our rehearsal dinner forgot about it
- My stepmom and great aunt went to go pick up the food and got lost for three hours
- I tripped on the lining of my dress going up the steps
- I forgot the words to the song I was singing to my new husband
- When I threw my bouquet, it hit the ceiling on the way to the girls and fell straight down to the no man's land in between us.
- there were a few others but trivial compared to these ;)
- My birthday also gets it's own category:
- fractured ribs
- food poisoning
- double eye infection
- party fail (long story)
- my first ambulance ride
- broken nose!
I hope you have gotten a chuckle or two out of my misadventures! Take a minute and reflect on your own. How many things in your life that seemed so terrible or irritating or frustrating at the time are funny now? If we can keep a hold of that prospective, we can learn to chuckle even in the midst of those moments or at least soon there after. And once you can laugh at it, you break the power it has to make you unhappy. It's your choice. I choose to laugh at the sitcom moments of my life!
At least I do. I know it sounds weird. But I have to.
You see, I am a bona fide Mishap Magnet. It's true. Ask my mom. She used to call me her "little walking accident". If it could be knocked over, tripped over or run into I'd find it. I have a special knack for things not going quite according to plan.
I have been very fortunate that not very many of my mishaps have been on the scale of life threatening, although there have been a few of those, too. Most of them are those little inconveniences that we just don't have the time or patience to deal with. Sometimes they seem so big because they impact something else but, in the long-run, they aren't that big. That's what we have to remember. Most of these won't matter in five years.
Along my journey down the accident-laden trail, I have realized something. Things almost Never go according to plan and it's going to affect you. Here's the thing: you decide how they affect you.
I see so many people who allow these little frustrations to get to them. They get mad or irritated or feel put upon and let that feeling grow and grow with each event. Eventually, all of these little things build up into one big giant thing and they are bitter and unhappy because their life isn't what they want it to be.
Things go wrong for everyone. And everyone has the choice to dwell on them or laugh at them and let them go.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I never get frustrated. I'm an emotional extrovert by nature, so I understand the frustration and irritation and exasperation. But then, you've got to see the humor and the irony in these things. I learned to chuckle at the sitcom qualities of my life (even in the midst of a moment of exasperation) a long time ago and it's been one of the best life lessons for me. Because things are going to go wrong. A lot. And I want to enjoy my life.
For your enjoyment, a few examples from my own life. Go ahead, laugh. It's good for you.
- Lost keys/phone/homework/backpack/shoes/you name it as you're trying to head out the door to work or school.
- Accidentally deleted over twelve pages of a fifteen page paper
- Barely finishing a paper on time and the printer wouldn't print (technology and I aren't friends)
- Spent over an hour gathering groceries (making sure to check for sales). Get in line with a full cart, put everything on the counter and...left my wallet at home. And I've done that one more than once!
- Got stopped for speeding when I was running late for an important meeting at work.
- Drove four hours to a conference I was leading music at, got ten minuted from the hotel and my car dies. Apparently, when I had my oil changed a few days before, they didn't think it odd that they didn't have to take any oil out to put several quarts in and did not notice the quarter-sized hole in my oil pan. Had to replace the entire engine.
- Got a new car. Had a friend drive it home for me the day we bought it. She got in a wreck. Officer: How long have you had this car? Me: One day!
- New house (no fence), puppy in master w/pee pad in bathroom. No pee, but he Did destroy the Entire bed set: pillows, comforter, etc along with several books and shoes and the bed frame. It literally looked like it had snowed from all the pillow fluff.
- Got paint to match an item to go in a room, painted the whole room and the color didn't match.
- Tied orange tape to the trees we wanted to save when clearing for our house. They knocked those down the first day!
- Rode six horses at the barn I worked at, no problem. My back went out getting off a little pony who was standing still! Out of commission for three weeks.
- Was going to show my cousins my riding (they had never seen me do it). Get to the barn and someone had used the horse I was supposed to ride. She was handed to me hot and sweaty, so I hosed her off and took her out bareback. And it was July 4th. And someone shot of illegal fireworks. And I wasn't wearing a helmet... hellloooo concussion!
- So far I have brought two hurricanes and three tropical storms with me when I have visited my dad and stepmom.
- Visiting my dad and stepmom (they lived on a boat), the dingy to get to shore couldn't hold all three of us plus my bag, so dad rowed me & my bag to shore, then I was supposed to row back out to the boat to get my stepmom. At four o'clock in the morning (the airport was on another island). With a hurricane coming. Between the dark and the wind and high waves, I couldn't find the boat. I circled the anchorage twice before I heard her calling to me. Thought I was going to drown within sight of land on that one!
- Had my nose broken three times. All on accident. All by people I know. One was my mother by opening a door (love you Mom!).
- My "not broken" toe still has a bump that hurts when you push on it five months later.
- Twice pulled a muscle without moving more than six inches!
- Spent a week planning something special for the boy for good behavior and had to cancel because he decided to make up for lost time misbehaving the day of the event.
- Spending an hour picking up a mess it took my child two minutes to make (again and again and again)
- Telling a child not to do something and they just have to do it one more time (again and again and again). Come on, it's funny. Especially when they have been warned there will be consequences and you know they are going to do it anyway. It's like they can't stop themselves.
- Got all dressed up for a Halloween birthday party and, when we got there, no one was there. The party had been the day before.
- My wedding gets it's own category:
- The caterer for our rehearsal dinner forgot about it
- My stepmom and great aunt went to go pick up the food and got lost for three hours
- I tripped on the lining of my dress going up the steps
- I forgot the words to the song I was singing to my new husband
- When I threw my bouquet, it hit the ceiling on the way to the girls and fell straight down to the no man's land in between us.
- there were a few others but trivial compared to these ;)
- My birthday also gets it's own category:
- fractured ribs
- food poisoning
- double eye infection
- party fail (long story)
- my first ambulance ride
- broken nose!
I hope you have gotten a chuckle or two out of my misadventures! Take a minute and reflect on your own. How many things in your life that seemed so terrible or irritating or frustrating at the time are funny now? If we can keep a hold of that prospective, we can learn to chuckle even in the midst of those moments or at least soon there after. And once you can laugh at it, you break the power it has to make you unhappy. It's your choice. I choose to laugh at the sitcom moments of my life!
B now thinks the puzzle pieces Belong on the floor!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Lessons from Horses: Trust Issues
Working with horses has taught me so much. I have learned perseverance, empathy, patience, and many things that translate into parenting. Today, one of my horses taught me a lesson in trust.
You see, horses are by nature very large scaredy cats. They are prey animals so their first reaction to anything new is "Can that eat me!?!" In most domesticated horses, this instinct has been dulled from disuse. However in some this instinct is still strong. I have two of these. And just to show that horses can be as different as people, one is afraid of new stuff and the other one, who was not handled enough as a young horse, is overly sensitive to what others do. If you stay calm, so will he, but if you get nervous or aggressive, he becomes very nervous and it difficult to calm him back down. The funny thing is, when you put the two of them together, they affect each other.
I have had Sky (the one afraid of stuff) since she was born. She is not bothered by anything you might do but if there's a loose plastic bag blowing around watch out! Slate, on the other hand, I purchased as he turned one. When I first brought him home I could not catch him in the field. The only way I could get Slate to come in to the barn was to get Sky and take her in. He would follow her all the way to the stall. He trusted her. He wasn't so sure about me. That was five years ago. We've come a long way since then.
Of course, the opposite is also sometimes true. Every now and then, when Sky freaks out about something, that herd survival instinct kicks in and he spooks, too. Tonight that was exactly what happened:
I have my farm set up so that when the horses are out I can put their dinner in their stalls and then just open the gate to the pasture and they will go into their stalls. Sometimes I will put my hand under the jaw of one and walk with them. I use this as practice in case I ever need to catch or lead them and don't have a halter and lead rope.
We had a large cardboard box turned fort for J. Of course, they didn't like it at first but they got used to seeing it before too long. Then it got left in the rain and collapsed sideways and the wind blew it to a whole new part of the yard (changing locations is just as bad as changing shapes to horses).
As I was bringing the horses in tonight, they caught sight of this new scary monster in the front yard and every single one of them spooked (aka freaked out)! The collapsed fort was closer to the barn than they were and they were not going anywhere near it!
I just happened to be walking with Slate tonight. When he yanked his head away from me and ran, I went after him. I don't want him to think it's ok to yank away from me even if he is scared. He did let me catch him again but he still didn't trust me enough to walk past the scary fort monster, at least not by himself. None of the other horses wanted to go past it either.
This time, I went to the barn and got a halter. Instead of putting it on Slate, I put it on Steele. Steele is my "Old Steady." His prey instinct is not as strong as the others' so he doesn't get as upset as they do. I've also had Steele for thirteen years. We have been through a lot together and he trusts me. So when I put the halter on him and told him he was okay, he believed me and followed me willingly. Steele is also the herd leader. The other horses know they can trust him to protect them for he has earned his place. They followed us in just like Slate used to follow Sky.
Once they were all safely in, I went back to Slate, put his halter on and took him back out to the yard. He was very nervous but he came. I walked with him toward the crumpled fort, stopping every so often to let him look at it and give him time to get used to seeing it. When we got to it, I did something he really didn't like. I stomped on it! It moved. It made noise. He did Not like this. I kept doing it for a few minutes anyway.
And then I saw it.
His demeanor changed as he realized that it wasn't hurting us and I was the one making the noise. And he relaxed a little. I stepped off the cardboard and gave him a good rub and lots of praise and he put his head on my chest. This is something he does both for affection and reassurance (and why he is the favorite with my mom and several students). I stroked his face and told him he was okay. And then I got on the cardboard again. He still didn't like it but he was nowhere near as nervous as he had been. We did this a couple of times and by the end, he actually walked on it for me! What a good, brave boy!
As I thought about all of this afterward, I reflected on how much trust it took for him to approach the thing that scared him and then to stay there and not leave; not that he had much choice since I was holding his lead rope. I thought about how hard I had to work to earn his trust and how careful I have to be not to break the trust of this horse for whom it does not come naturally. He is much like we humans are.
When we see something scary on the horizon of our lives, we want to run. When we feel God urging us to continue on our path even though it brings us to the scary thing, we want to yank away from him. We do not trust God to take care of us through the difficult times in our lives. We live in a fallen world, full of pain and sorrow. It affects everybody. Not one single person will live their whole life without experiencing it. Sometimes, when bad or scary things happen, we blame God rather than trusting him (as Slate could have with me for bringing him closer to the fort).
We need to remember that he cares for us and is there for us and trust him. Think of all of the other times he has helped you or sent someone to go with you as I did for Slate by having Steele go first. Even if no other person is there with you, God is just as I was with Slate while the others were in the barn. I did not make him face his fear by himself. You are never alone when you walk with God. Trust him. Put your head on God's chest first and let him hold you and reassure you if you need to. I promise he won't mind.
I don't know about you, but I want to be a Steele, an "Old Steady" for God. I want to develop so much trust in him that I am willing to follow him all the way on top of the scary stuff and lead others to Him. That takes work and time. It doesn't happen overnight. But I read somewhere that if I'm willing, He can use me.
Slate and Sky
You see, horses are by nature very large scaredy cats. They are prey animals so their first reaction to anything new is "Can that eat me!?!" In most domesticated horses, this instinct has been dulled from disuse. However in some this instinct is still strong. I have two of these. And just to show that horses can be as different as people, one is afraid of new stuff and the other one, who was not handled enough as a young horse, is overly sensitive to what others do. If you stay calm, so will he, but if you get nervous or aggressive, he becomes very nervous and it difficult to calm him back down. The funny thing is, when you put the two of them together, they affect each other.
I have had Sky (the one afraid of stuff) since she was born. She is not bothered by anything you might do but if there's a loose plastic bag blowing around watch out! Slate, on the other hand, I purchased as he turned one. When I first brought him home I could not catch him in the field. The only way I could get Slate to come in to the barn was to get Sky and take her in. He would follow her all the way to the stall. He trusted her. He wasn't so sure about me. That was five years ago. We've come a long way since then.
Sweet babies
Of course, the opposite is also sometimes true. Every now and then, when Sky freaks out about something, that herd survival instinct kicks in and he spooks, too. Tonight that was exactly what happened:
I have my farm set up so that when the horses are out I can put their dinner in their stalls and then just open the gate to the pasture and they will go into their stalls. Sometimes I will put my hand under the jaw of one and walk with them. I use this as practice in case I ever need to catch or lead them and don't have a halter and lead rope.
We had a large cardboard box turned fort for J. Of course, they didn't like it at first but they got used to seeing it before too long. Then it got left in the rain and collapsed sideways and the wind blew it to a whole new part of the yard (changing locations is just as bad as changing shapes to horses).
As I was bringing the horses in tonight, they caught sight of this new scary monster in the front yard and every single one of them spooked (aka freaked out)! The collapsed fort was closer to the barn than they were and they were not going anywhere near it!
I just happened to be walking with Slate tonight. When he yanked his head away from me and ran, I went after him. I don't want him to think it's ok to yank away from me even if he is scared. He did let me catch him again but he still didn't trust me enough to walk past the scary fort monster, at least not by himself. None of the other horses wanted to go past it either.
This time, I went to the barn and got a halter. Instead of putting it on Slate, I put it on Steele. Steele is my "Old Steady." His prey instinct is not as strong as the others' so he doesn't get as upset as they do. I've also had Steele for thirteen years. We have been through a lot together and he trusts me. So when I put the halter on him and told him he was okay, he believed me and followed me willingly. Steele is also the herd leader. The other horses know they can trust him to protect them for he has earned his place. They followed us in just like Slate used to follow Sky.
Steele
Once they were all safely in, I went back to Slate, put his halter on and took him back out to the yard. He was very nervous but he came. I walked with him toward the crumpled fort, stopping every so often to let him look at it and give him time to get used to seeing it. When we got to it, I did something he really didn't like. I stomped on it! It moved. It made noise. He did Not like this. I kept doing it for a few minutes anyway.
And then I saw it.
His demeanor changed as he realized that it wasn't hurting us and I was the one making the noise. And he relaxed a little. I stepped off the cardboard and gave him a good rub and lots of praise and he put his head on my chest. This is something he does both for affection and reassurance (and why he is the favorite with my mom and several students). I stroked his face and told him he was okay. And then I got on the cardboard again. He still didn't like it but he was nowhere near as nervous as he had been. We did this a couple of times and by the end, he actually walked on it for me! What a good, brave boy!
Relaxed with a calm rider
As I thought about all of this afterward, I reflected on how much trust it took for him to approach the thing that scared him and then to stay there and not leave; not that he had much choice since I was holding his lead rope. I thought about how hard I had to work to earn his trust and how careful I have to be not to break the trust of this horse for whom it does not come naturally. He is much like we humans are.
When we see something scary on the horizon of our lives, we want to run. When we feel God urging us to continue on our path even though it brings us to the scary thing, we want to yank away from him. We do not trust God to take care of us through the difficult times in our lives. We live in a fallen world, full of pain and sorrow. It affects everybody. Not one single person will live their whole life without experiencing it. Sometimes, when bad or scary things happen, we blame God rather than trusting him (as Slate could have with me for bringing him closer to the fort).
We need to remember that he cares for us and is there for us and trust him. Think of all of the other times he has helped you or sent someone to go with you as I did for Slate by having Steele go first. Even if no other person is there with you, God is just as I was with Slate while the others were in the barn. I did not make him face his fear by himself. You are never alone when you walk with God. Trust him. Put your head on God's chest first and let him hold you and reassure you if you need to. I promise he won't mind.
I don't know about you, but I want to be a Steele, an "Old Steady" for God. I want to develop so much trust in him that I am willing to follow him all the way on top of the scary stuff and lead others to Him. That takes work and time. It doesn't happen overnight. But I read somewhere that if I'm willing, He can use me.
Friday, February 1, 2013
3 Updates
As you all know, I am not writing my posts from the realm of a completed and organized house. We are figuring things out as we go. Kind of like life, huh? So I have a few updates to some previous posts.
1. The Great Bread Experiment: Whole Wheat Bread #1
When we tried this bread fresh out of the oven, we really liked it. It was soft and had a good whole wheat flavor. J ate it a couple of times and then started asking for "store bread" instead of the "new bread" for his sandwiches for lunch. Hmmm...I tried it (about four days post baking) and, while the flavor was still okay, it had gone stale. I had stored it the same way I had stored the white bread. Is this a wheat bread thing?
I also realized that I usually buy Honey wheat bread for J's sandwiches, so that may have been a factor as well. Next time, I think I'll try a Honey Wheat. There's not a recipe for Honey Wheat in my Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book but I saw one in Betty Crocker.
2. My Home Management Binder
When I first decided to make this binder, I had purchased a pretty binder. It had a black and white filigree down one side of the front and turquoise and chartreuse down the other. Then, as I started putting it together, I found that all of my tabs were sticking out the side and would soon break off. Apparently, all pretty binders are only one inch binders and all one inch binders are not made wide enough to cover tabbed dividers when you put them in sheet protectors.
Luckily, I found the turquoise one that is featured in the post. Plain but wide enough and a pretty color which just happened to match my original folder. I know, none of this really matters. Except that pretty things, especially coordinated pretty things make me happy. Really happy. Yes I'm a dork. I've been aware of that for quite some time now.
Anyway, when I put my Home Management Binder together, I only had five dividers, so I combined my contacts lists with the calendar. I figured that they were both just reference and I had most of the info in my phone anyway. Then I started thinking and I wasn't really happy with that. I also realized that, if I use my "Goals & Projects" section as much as I think I will, it's going to take over the notebook. Solution? I took that section and gave it it's own whole notebook which just happens to match my big binder! This has worked out extremely well given all of the projects I'm currently working on or planning for the future. I don't have to lug my big notebook everywhere and when I put them away (once I've organized their space), won't they look nice together?
3. A Smarter Kitchen
This one is a small thing. In the pictures for this post, I have some of our cereal in some nice, sleek, space saving tupperware. There's one slight problem with that. To pour the cereal, you have to take the entire lid off. We have been trying to give J more responsibility, particularly for his own things. A six year old can NOT coordinate well enough to tip the container with one hand and use the other to keep all of he extra cereal from spilling everywhere. He just can't. Clean up in aisle four!
I do have a couple of containers with a flap at one end, but they are wide- enough to be difficult for him to control well when pouring. So, Mom and I went to Walmart today and found a $3 Walmart brand cereal container that is a manageable width for J and has the smaller flap he can open at one end to control flow. We got two to try out. If they work well, I might get a couple more.
Tomorrow I will be posting about some of the projects I have been busy with this week and hopefully we'll get a chance to make that Honey Wheat bread recipe I saw.
As always, let me know if you have any ideas that have helped you!
1. The Great Bread Experiment: Whole Wheat Bread #1
When we tried this bread fresh out of the oven, we really liked it. It was soft and had a good whole wheat flavor. J ate it a couple of times and then started asking for "store bread" instead of the "new bread" for his sandwiches for lunch. Hmmm...I tried it (about four days post baking) and, while the flavor was still okay, it had gone stale. I had stored it the same way I had stored the white bread. Is this a wheat bread thing?
I also realized that I usually buy Honey wheat bread for J's sandwiches, so that may have been a factor as well. Next time, I think I'll try a Honey Wheat. There's not a recipe for Honey Wheat in my Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book but I saw one in Betty Crocker.
2. My Home Management Binder
When I first decided to make this binder, I had purchased a pretty binder. It had a black and white filigree down one side of the front and turquoise and chartreuse down the other. Then, as I started putting it together, I found that all of my tabs were sticking out the side and would soon break off. Apparently, all pretty binders are only one inch binders and all one inch binders are not made wide enough to cover tabbed dividers when you put them in sheet protectors.
Luckily, I found the turquoise one that is featured in the post. Plain but wide enough and a pretty color which just happened to match my original folder. I know, none of this really matters. Except that pretty things, especially coordinated pretty things make me happy. Really happy. Yes I'm a dork. I've been aware of that for quite some time now.
Anyway, when I put my Home Management Binder together, I only had five dividers, so I combined my contacts lists with the calendar. I figured that they were both just reference and I had most of the info in my phone anyway. Then I started thinking and I wasn't really happy with that. I also realized that, if I use my "Goals & Projects" section as much as I think I will, it's going to take over the notebook. Solution? I took that section and gave it it's own whole notebook which just happens to match my big binder! This has worked out extremely well given all of the projects I'm currently working on or planning for the future. I don't have to lug my big notebook everywhere and when I put them away (once I've organized their space), won't they look nice together?
3. A Smarter Kitchen
This one is a small thing. In the pictures for this post, I have some of our cereal in some nice, sleek, space saving tupperware. There's one slight problem with that. To pour the cereal, you have to take the entire lid off. We have been trying to give J more responsibility, particularly for his own things. A six year old can NOT coordinate well enough to tip the container with one hand and use the other to keep all of he extra cereal from spilling everywhere. He just can't. Clean up in aisle four!
I do have a couple of containers with a flap at one end, but they are wide- enough to be difficult for him to control well when pouring. So, Mom and I went to Walmart today and found a $3 Walmart brand cereal container that is a manageable width for J and has the smaller flap he can open at one end to control flow. We got two to try out. If they work well, I might get a couple more.
Tomorrow I will be posting about some of the projects I have been busy with this week and hopefully we'll get a chance to make that Honey Wheat bread recipe I saw.
As always, let me know if you have any ideas that have helped you!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
A Smarter Kitchen
When I begin the task of organizing the house, I always feel like I should start in the kitchen. It is one of the most used rooms in the house and it has the most "stuff" traffic. I am not one of those super frugal extreme couponing moms but I do try to be smart about how I spend our money. Especially as I watch the cost of grocery items rise. I try to take advantage of sales (particularly buy one get one free) and coupons (combined with a sale).
Note: Buying groceries in bulk or on sale only saves you money if you actually use them!!
I have had an ongoing struggle with mealtime at my house. I think it is related to my tendency to get focused on "what needs to be done right now?" because I have been so busy playing catch up that I don't take the time to plan ahead.
Unfortunately, once I get all of these great cheaply purchased groceries home, I get busy. I have not really gotten into the habit of planning out my menu ahead of time and so, as I'm trying to get the kids to do (or not do) something or get one more thing done, I suddenly realize that it's almost dinnertime and I have NO idea what to make for dinner!
The other part is that, I not only have picky eaters, I have infrequent eaters. If I do make an actual meal, sometimes I am the only one who will eat it. I never know if J will like it, if B is having an eating day (some days she will only drink) or if Mike's stomach will let him eat that day. How do you shop for that? I used to shop as if we were all going to eat full meals throughout the week. Yeah, not so smart. Now I am trying to relearn shopping. Instead of getting everything at once, I shop for staples I know J will eat for breakfast and lunch and one meal. If I'm the only one who will eat it, that one meal will last all week.
In the meantime, before I changed my shopping habits, I had built up an impressive stock of goods...that we will never eat. So, part of my reorganizing of the house is also adjusting how I do stuff.
The first thing I did was wash and put away all my dishes, etc. so I could see what I really have. I went through all my "tupperware" and realized we have enough containers to store food for four families. Why? I kept the "good stuff" and the sets that stack inside of each other (wise space usage) and gave away the rest. There's probably still an extra family's worth in there, but it's better than it was.
The second thing I did was go through my pantry and cabinets. I tossed anything that was expired and I donated anything that was going to expire in the next two months. I figured that people relying on free food will definitely eat it whereas it may just expire and go to waste if I keep it.
For anything left, I grouped them by food type (cereal, fruit, meat, lunch sides). Big stuff like large drink containers go on the floor. I put the breakfast items and lunch sides on the bottom two rows so that J can see them and get to them easily. Now he can get these for himself. I put stuff I use to make dinner on the next shelf up and dessert stuff he might be tempted by at the very top, not that that would actually stop him if he really wanted something. Our pantry is not that big, so soups, drink mixes, baking ingredients and spices are in the cabinets. Here is what J's pantry shelves look like:
Once everything was in place, I labeled any storage containers (I got cheap all purpose labels at Walmart) and wrote the expiration dates on everything big enough to see easily with a Sharpie. Some of them are really hard to see otherwise. I figured if I'm taking the time to look now, I may as well make it easier for next time.
As I was going through doing that, I also created an inventory with expiration dates. From this inventory, I made a list of the foods that need to be used first. This way, as I plan my menu, I can try to use foods from the "Need to Use" list so that nothing else gets wasted.
If I do this pantry clear out and inventory every 2-3 months, I can be sure that all of those great deals that I bought will get used instead of wasted, either by our family or one in need.
I did a similar make over of my refrigerator and freezer.
1. Now that J is able to do more kitchen things for himself, I rearranged a bit to make sure that the items he will most likely use are within easy reach.
2. The day before garbage day is becoming, "Leftover Night" and whatever leftovers aren't eaten are tossed (I don't want anything growing in my containers!) and check for outdated condiments, overripe fruits & veggie, etc. night.
3. My freezer shelves are now designated by food type (Breakfast, Meat, Veggies, Prepared Meals, Breads & Desserts), which helps ensure I do not buy too much of one type of food and not enough of the others (although there may be a bit more dessert than we need).
4. I am also making sure that I label anything I repackage to freeze with a Use By date (if I buy in bulk, I can put some in the refrigerator and freeze the rest).
One last thing:
Since our pantry is sort of a skinny walk in, we can only have shelves on one side. So what do you do with that little bit of space at the end? I put our stacking recycle bins there. It has been so convenient to be able to just stick the empty boxes/cartons while I'm standing there replacing them! You can see by the overflow that we didn't put the Paper bin out last trash day (it was raining-sloppy cardboard-yuck!).
I still have some work to do in the kitchen, mostly with our family "calendar and control center" but this will get me going on the goals of cooking more at home and being a better steward of our resources.
If you have any tips or ideas, I'd love to hear them!
Note: Buying groceries in bulk or on sale only saves you money if you actually use them!!
I have had an ongoing struggle with mealtime at my house. I think it is related to my tendency to get focused on "what needs to be done right now?" because I have been so busy playing catch up that I don't take the time to plan ahead.
Unfortunately, once I get all of these great cheaply purchased groceries home, I get busy. I have not really gotten into the habit of planning out my menu ahead of time and so, as I'm trying to get the kids to do (or not do) something or get one more thing done, I suddenly realize that it's almost dinnertime and I have NO idea what to make for dinner!
The other part is that, I not only have picky eaters, I have infrequent eaters. If I do make an actual meal, sometimes I am the only one who will eat it. I never know if J will like it, if B is having an eating day (some days she will only drink) or if Mike's stomach will let him eat that day. How do you shop for that? I used to shop as if we were all going to eat full meals throughout the week. Yeah, not so smart. Now I am trying to relearn shopping. Instead of getting everything at once, I shop for staples I know J will eat for breakfast and lunch and one meal. If I'm the only one who will eat it, that one meal will last all week.
In the meantime, before I changed my shopping habits, I had built up an impressive stock of goods...that we will never eat. So, part of my reorganizing of the house is also adjusting how I do stuff.
The first thing I did was wash and put away all my dishes, etc. so I could see what I really have. I went through all my "tupperware" and realized we have enough containers to store food for four families. Why? I kept the "good stuff" and the sets that stack inside of each other (wise space usage) and gave away the rest. There's probably still an extra family's worth in there, but it's better than it was.
The second thing I did was go through my pantry and cabinets. I tossed anything that was expired and I donated anything that was going to expire in the next two months. I figured that people relying on free food will definitely eat it whereas it may just expire and go to waste if I keep it.
For anything left, I grouped them by food type (cereal, fruit, meat, lunch sides). Big stuff like large drink containers go on the floor. I put the breakfast items and lunch sides on the bottom two rows so that J can see them and get to them easily. Now he can get these for himself. I put stuff I use to make dinner on the next shelf up and dessert stuff he might be tempted by at the very top, not that that would actually stop him if he really wanted something. Our pantry is not that big, so soups, drink mixes, baking ingredients and spices are in the cabinets. Here is what J's pantry shelves look like:
Once everything was in place, I labeled any storage containers (I got cheap all purpose labels at Walmart) and wrote the expiration dates on everything big enough to see easily with a Sharpie. Some of them are really hard to see otherwise. I figured if I'm taking the time to look now, I may as well make it easier for next time.
As I was going through doing that, I also created an inventory with expiration dates. From this inventory, I made a list of the foods that need to be used first. This way, as I plan my menu, I can try to use foods from the "Need to Use" list so that nothing else gets wasted.
If I do this pantry clear out and inventory every 2-3 months, I can be sure that all of those great deals that I bought will get used instead of wasted, either by our family or one in need.
I did a similar make over of my refrigerator and freezer.
1. Now that J is able to do more kitchen things for himself, I rearranged a bit to make sure that the items he will most likely use are within easy reach.
2. The day before garbage day is becoming, "Leftover Night" and whatever leftovers aren't eaten are tossed (I don't want anything growing in my containers!) and check for outdated condiments, overripe fruits & veggie, etc. night.
3. My freezer shelves are now designated by food type (Breakfast, Meat, Veggies, Prepared Meals, Breads & Desserts), which helps ensure I do not buy too much of one type of food and not enough of the others (although there may be a bit more dessert than we need).
4. I am also making sure that I label anything I repackage to freeze with a Use By date (if I buy in bulk, I can put some in the refrigerator and freeze the rest).
One last thing:
Since our pantry is sort of a skinny walk in, we can only have shelves on one side. So what do you do with that little bit of space at the end? I put our stacking recycle bins there. It has been so convenient to be able to just stick the empty boxes/cartons while I'm standing there replacing them! You can see by the overflow that we didn't put the Paper bin out last trash day (it was raining-sloppy cardboard-yuck!).
I still have some work to do in the kitchen, mostly with our family "calendar and control center" but this will get me going on the goals of cooking more at home and being a better steward of our resources.
If you have any tips or ideas, I'd love to hear them!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
The Little Things
Today has been a very busy day, so this will be a short post but I had a thought I wanted to share.
You know the expressions "it's the little things in life..."? Usually that expression is used as an abbreviation for "It's the little things that make life worth living". However, the expression "the straw that broke the camel's back" shows that it is also the little things that can get to us. You can use this knowledge in your favor!
When you are having a rough day and lots of little things are wearing on your patience and adding to your stress level, remind yourself to deal with one at a time and let each go as you do. If you do that, they cannot build and build until the dam that holds your sanity intact breaks.
If you are facing a very large trial, project, or mess, remind yourself that this mountain is made up of little mole hills. If you can identify those smaller pieces and work on one at a time, you will be halfway done before you know it! Don't try to deal with the mountain as a whole. It will seem impossible and overwhelming and that is what defeats so many of us before we get started.
The other thing that we can do is to look for those little things in life that make it worthwhile: a beautiful sunset, a smile or hug from someone you love, a moment of peace after the chaos, the song of a bird after a storm, a good book, a warm mug of hot cocoa when you come in from the cold, a song that lifts your spirits, a Bible verse that reminds you God loves you and hears you.
At our house, I have had to use all of these this week.
If you have been following, you know that we have several major (work intensive) projects going on for the house. Partly because they are all interrelated and partly because I have to stop when the weather starts changing and refocus on the farm. If I think about them all at once, it becomes very difficult to figure out what to do next and the amount is overwhelming. If I stop and choose one task and focus on the simple details of "What goes here? What must I do to get it here?" then I can see a path toward completion.
In my last post I mentioned that the kids had been out of school for three days (and they got half a day yesterday for weather). In those three and a half days, we have had three major meltdowns which ended up in discipline (as I tell J, even when you are upset, you are not allowed to be disrespectful and disobedient) and they all started over something minor! Then B decided that she did not like things being all organized and put away and every time I put something away, she would pull it out. I had been working on the kitchen and we have a couple of shelves for puzzles, coloring stuff, playdoh and cards. I had finally containerized in what we thought she wouldn't be able to open. When I saw everything pulled out for the fifth or fiftieth time, I really felt like giving up. This is where the "deal with one thing at a time and let it go" came in handy.
And in the midst of all of this, I saw a beautiful sunrise and two magnificent sunsets. My SWC wanted to cuddle with me after apologizing for his behavior. My horse gave me an extra nuzzle. I heard several messages and songs on the radio that reminded me that God is near, he loves me and he will get me through.
You know the expressions "it's the little things in life..."? Usually that expression is used as an abbreviation for "It's the little things that make life worth living". However, the expression "the straw that broke the camel's back" shows that it is also the little things that can get to us. You can use this knowledge in your favor!
When you are having a rough day and lots of little things are wearing on your patience and adding to your stress level, remind yourself to deal with one at a time and let each go as you do. If you do that, they cannot build and build until the dam that holds your sanity intact breaks.
If you are facing a very large trial, project, or mess, remind yourself that this mountain is made up of little mole hills. If you can identify those smaller pieces and work on one at a time, you will be halfway done before you know it! Don't try to deal with the mountain as a whole. It will seem impossible and overwhelming and that is what defeats so many of us before we get started.
The other thing that we can do is to look for those little things in life that make it worthwhile: a beautiful sunset, a smile or hug from someone you love, a moment of peace after the chaos, the song of a bird after a storm, a good book, a warm mug of hot cocoa when you come in from the cold, a song that lifts your spirits, a Bible verse that reminds you God loves you and hears you.
His mercies are new every morning
At our house, I have had to use all of these this week.
If you have been following, you know that we have several major (work intensive) projects going on for the house. Partly because they are all interrelated and partly because I have to stop when the weather starts changing and refocus on the farm. If I think about them all at once, it becomes very difficult to figure out what to do next and the amount is overwhelming. If I stop and choose one task and focus on the simple details of "What goes here? What must I do to get it here?" then I can see a path toward completion.
How B thinks the puzzles should be kept
In my last post I mentioned that the kids had been out of school for three days (and they got half a day yesterday for weather). In those three and a half days, we have had three major meltdowns which ended up in discipline (as I tell J, even when you are upset, you are not allowed to be disrespectful and disobedient) and they all started over something minor! Then B decided that she did not like things being all organized and put away and every time I put something away, she would pull it out. I had been working on the kitchen and we have a couple of shelves for puzzles, coloring stuff, playdoh and cards. I had finally containerized in what we thought she wouldn't be able to open. When I saw everything pulled out for the fifth or fiftieth time, I really felt like giving up. This is where the "deal with one thing at a time and let it go" came in handy.
And in the midst of all of this, I saw a beautiful sunrise and two magnificent sunsets. My SWC wanted to cuddle with me after apologizing for his behavior. My horse gave me an extra nuzzle. I heard several messages and songs on the radio that reminded me that God is near, he loves me and he will get me through.
Another reminder that this is all in God's hands
God is near. He loves you. He will get you through. Take it one step at a time and don't worry about the rest.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Schedule Your Priorities
In our country today, we have become very good at being busy. We schedule so many things in our lives that we don't really have time for any of them. Of course, if you've been reading this blog, you know that this is something I have struggled with as well. As I try to organize the house, which is going to take several major projects, and catch up on the farm work, I must be careful not to neglect the things that are most important.
Regardless of whether my projects are complete or not, my family and my friends still need my time and attention. If I do not take the time to develop those relationships now, I will miss my chance. Friendships develop or fade as you share thoughts, feelings and experiences. Kids will continue to grow and will move on, whether I spend the time to be close to them or not. And if I want my marriage to be as strong (hopefully stronger) when they have grown up and moved out, then I must devote time to my husband and our relationship. You hear about couples who were so busy taking care of the house and the kids that, when their kids are gone, they have nothing left to talk to each other about. I do not want that to be what's in store for me and my Mr- that's not what I married him for.
Similarly, if I do not take time to know God more and get my focus on Him, then I may miss his guiding as I go through my day. It is all too easy to become caught up in the daily tasks and trials. If we want our lives to be about more than the mundane of the day to day, we must have a focus and a purpose that is greater than what is in front of us.
One thing I have learned about myself: if I don't purposefully schedule something, it's not likely to happen. The thing that "I'll do it when I get a chance" will stay just that because there will always be just one more thing that needs to get done. That was what led to my post about making time to ride my horses, which is a pretty high priority for me that I have rarely gotten to do in the last ummm three years. I have to schedule time to meet with God and to be with my friends and family. If I don't, it will either be very infrequent or not happen at all. My mom and I took action on this several months ago when we realized we only saw each other when they were babysitting. Now we have a standing weekly lunch date. We still occasionally miss one, but we see each other a lot more than we did before it was on our calendars. Now I just need to find time to do that with my hubby (sans kids) and friends (we may Have to bring the kids!).
With that in mind, this week I have "scheduled" time to read my Bible (I also like to listen to some of the programs on the radio) and I took some time while my kids were out of school (they got Three days for MLK!) to just be with them and play with them and love on them. And, since part of my greater purpose is trying to raise my kids to be people of character, we have also been introducing (or continuing) some lessons to help them become self-sufficient adults who are compassionate and generous with others. Some of these for J involve simple work and giving him responsibility for a share of the household tasks. I have told him that, in a family, we all help each other. We work best as a team. Of course, B isn't old enough for all of that yet, but we are even teaching her. She is old enough to hang up her own jacket (we have low hooks she can reach) and pick up her toys and put them in the bin. Now we just have to figure out sharing...
Take some time today to spend with the ones you love!
Regardless of whether my projects are complete or not, my family and my friends still need my time and attention. If I do not take the time to develop those relationships now, I will miss my chance. Friendships develop or fade as you share thoughts, feelings and experiences. Kids will continue to grow and will move on, whether I spend the time to be close to them or not. And if I want my marriage to be as strong (hopefully stronger) when they have grown up and moved out, then I must devote time to my husband and our relationship. You hear about couples who were so busy taking care of the house and the kids that, when their kids are gone, they have nothing left to talk to each other about. I do not want that to be what's in store for me and my Mr- that's not what I married him for.
Similarly, if I do not take time to know God more and get my focus on Him, then I may miss his guiding as I go through my day. It is all too easy to become caught up in the daily tasks and trials. If we want our lives to be about more than the mundane of the day to day, we must have a focus and a purpose that is greater than what is in front of us.
One thing I have learned about myself: if I don't purposefully schedule something, it's not likely to happen. The thing that "I'll do it when I get a chance" will stay just that because there will always be just one more thing that needs to get done. That was what led to my post about making time to ride my horses, which is a pretty high priority for me that I have rarely gotten to do in the last ummm three years. I have to schedule time to meet with God and to be with my friends and family. If I don't, it will either be very infrequent or not happen at all. My mom and I took action on this several months ago when we realized we only saw each other when they were babysitting. Now we have a standing weekly lunch date. We still occasionally miss one, but we see each other a lot more than we did before it was on our calendars. Now I just need to find time to do that with my hubby (sans kids) and friends (we may Have to bring the kids!).
With that in mind, this week I have "scheduled" time to read my Bible (I also like to listen to some of the programs on the radio) and I took some time while my kids were out of school (they got Three days for MLK!) to just be with them and play with them and love on them. And, since part of my greater purpose is trying to raise my kids to be people of character, we have also been introducing (or continuing) some lessons to help them become self-sufficient adults who are compassionate and generous with others. Some of these for J involve simple work and giving him responsibility for a share of the household tasks. I have told him that, in a family, we all help each other. We work best as a team. Of course, B isn't old enough for all of that yet, but we are even teaching her. She is old enough to hang up her own jacket (we have low hooks she can reach) and pick up her toys and put them in the bin. Now we just have to figure out sharing...
Take some time today to spend with the ones you love!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
The Great Bread Experiment: Whole Wheat Bread #1
We are continuing our experiment with making our own bread at home. Next up: whole wheat bread. I got the recipe for this one from my Better Homes and Gardens cook book. I think it just may be our sandwich bread but then, there are so many others to try first.
Find the recipe and read my full post about my first homemade Whole Wheat bread on Time to be Mom in the Kitchen.
Find the recipe and read my full post about my first homemade Whole Wheat bread on Time to be Mom in the Kitchen.
Ready to Ride!
What is most important to you? What are you willing to die for? What are the things that you ache without? The people you long for when they are not there? Do you live your life in a way that shows these people or things are important to you?
If you say God is the most important thing to you, you should be spending time in His Word, learning about him and how he wants you to live. I'll give you a hint: it's all about loving people, especially those we don't think deserve it, because they are the ones who need it the most.
If you say your family is the most important thing to you, you should be spending time with them interacting with them. Being in the same room but concentrating on something else doesn't count. Spending your life at the office to provide a big house that you're not at with them doesn't count. And men, hear me on this: your wife does NOT need a big house. She needs a relationship with her husband! Your kids do NOT need more toys. They need a father! (I realize that women do this too but men tend to be more goal/work oriented)
I am assuming that most people put these and maybe friends first on the list of things that are important to them if asked. They even say they would die for them; but are they Living for them? Fighting for them? People don't say career or success is the most important thing to them. They just live like it.
Now, assuming that you are spending the time to show God and your family where they rank in your life, what's next on your list? For me it is riding horses. It has been my source of joy (aside from God and family) for 30 years now. When I haven't ridden in awhile, it's almost physically painful to watch someone else ride or even to go feed my horses, knowing I will not ride them that day either. I ache inside for it, almost like I do for Mike when he's out of town.
The funny thing is that's supposed to be my job but I enjoy it so much it seems like just fun. When I get a chance to ride, I start thinking of all of the things in the house and around the farm that need to be done and I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I'm not keeping up with all of the other stuff because I want to go have fun. Never mind that I have two horses that I need to finish training so that I can sell them because that's supposed to be my job. More often than not I give in to the guilt and go do something that feels more like work. And the horses get left out in the pasture.
Now I'm sure they don't mind hanging out with their buddies, playing and eating hay, but if I don't work with them, the young ones will never be trained and the older ones will start getting out of practice (and patience with my students). They will not be useful to anybody. And if I am not using them, why should I have them?
So, along with my commitment to take more time just to be "mom" and play with my kids (which has helped J alot), I am also making a commitment to take the time to really do my job as a horse owner and trainer and Ride these magnificent animals I have the priviledge of owning.
To make the time to do this, I am going to have to become better organized and a better manager of the time I have. One of the things I have done this year is to step down as the leader for some of J's activities. I will still be there of course, but now I can use that time for planning. I believe this will also help J because now I can just cheer for him and be a helper in the background instead of being the one who is telling him what to do all of the time but that's a side note.
The other thing I really need to be better about is planning. I have done a pretty good job of keeping track of our schedules but would often lose little things like what to make for dinner. If I plan out enough of those little things, I think I will be amazed at the time that saves. Plus, if I plan out my schedule, I can schedule in riding rather than wondering if I have time to between other tasks. If I know there is time for it, I think I will feel less guilty. I'll feel even better if I know I am taking care of all of those other things that need to be done, even if they aren't going to be done today.
So, tomorrow I am going to wake up, spend some time with my God (He Is first, after all), cuddle with my kids and kiss my husband before we leave for work & school and then get to work. It's going to be rainy, so the riding won't start then, but I can work on some of those guilt inducing projects so that when the sun comes back out, I will be ready to Ride!
Update: I have to brag on My Mr. for a minute. When he came out of his office last night, I was writing this post and he could tell I was emotional. He came and sat with me and read it. His next concern was my note to husbands at the beginning. He wanted to make sure that we didn't feel like he was putting work before us. To be fair, that is something we have struggled with in the past because he does work a lot. However, he has since made a noticeable and concentrated effort to be available and involved, which has done wonders for our whole family. When he finished the post, his response was "Don't worry about me and the house. Go ride. It's what you love to do. I knew that when I married you." This from the man who bought me my first horse (after 18 years of riding). Could he be any more supportive? I am so blessed to have him as the person I get to spend my life with!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
My Home Management Binder
Despite Mike's valiant efforts to help me embrace all that this digital age has to offer, I'm just a paper girl at heart. I guess it's just how my brain works. I do take advantage of technology. I read books on my kindle, although I still have a hard time finding the page I want if I need to go back and look at something I've already passed, and I use the calendar feature on my phone, mainly for the reminder alarms; I never could get into the habit of checking it every day to see what's on the agenda. So, even though I can Use the technology, that is not what comes naturally to me.
Something I've learned about myself: if it's too fancy, it's too hard to maintain and I'll stop using it. This is true of organization, discipline, communication, technology and just about everything else. So I'm going back to something I know I'll use: a planner that I can write in and erase and highlight!
This year, since I'm in a big push to purge, consolidate and organize, I thought I would try making a "Home Management Binder" like some of the ones I've seen on Pinterest. There are some great products on the market, but none of the ones I saw in the stores had the layout or categories I wanted. Erin Condren even offers attractive personalized planners on her website but I couldn't rationalize spending $50. If you are on Pinterest, there are LOTS of links to sites with free printables. Some even have tutorials on how they put their binders together!
With so many options available for free, it hardly made sense to spend $30-$50 on something I could create to be exactly what I want. I looked around a bit and decided that I liked the printables available on Organizing Homelife the best. Ginny not only had dated monthly and blank daily pages, but MANY extras like menu planning, chore lists and maintenance record pages and title pages for the various sections. Even so, I still added a few pages of my own, which I will type up to look nicer eventually.
She also had some good ideas to make the binder work a little more efficiently. Here are a few that I used:
Problem1:
Wasted paper & ink and possibly a Really big binder if you have daily schedule pages and weekly menu planning pages, etc.
Solution:
Print out enough pages for one week and put them in page protectors. *Use WET erase markers, rather than dry erase, to prevent items from accidentally being erased or smudged.
Note:
It may be the type of page protectors I used but the markers didn't want to write well on the pages at first. They worked better after I had wiped down the pages. My mom suggested using waxy artist pencils as an alternative.
Problem 2:
If you use page protectors, the dividers don't stick out far enough and get lost in between the pages.
Solution:
Cut a sliver off the edge of a page protector and put the divider inside with the tab sticking out! Why didn't we think of this before?
The pictures are of the first one I did, so it wasn't too pretty. I made the others a little neater. The sheet protector is a little hard to see, you know, being clear and all, but you get the idea.
Line up your first divider with how it would be once inside the sheet protector.
Snip the edge on each side of the tab, then cut out a narrow strip in between them.
Then all you have to do is slide it in! I didn't label the tabs themselves. I put the title pages in the same sheet protectors as the dividers, so I felt it was unnecessary.
My final divider fix:
Problem 3:
What do you do with all of the little schedules, calendars and invitations you get from various sources?
Solution:
A non-tabbed divider with pockets at the end of each section. I used clear ones so they wouldn't distract too much from my section dividers.
Section1: Schedules & To-do List
Something I've learned about myself: if it's too fancy, it's too hard to maintain and I'll stop using it. This is true of organization, discipline, communication, technology and just about everything else. So I'm going back to something I know I'll use: a planner that I can write in and erase and highlight!
This year, since I'm in a big push to purge, consolidate and organize, I thought I would try making a "Home Management Binder" like some of the ones I've seen on Pinterest. There are some great products on the market, but none of the ones I saw in the stores had the layout or categories I wanted. Erin Condren even offers attractive personalized planners on her website but I couldn't rationalize spending $50. If you are on Pinterest, there are LOTS of links to sites with free printables. Some even have tutorials on how they put their binders together!
With so many options available for free, it hardly made sense to spend $30-$50 on something I could create to be exactly what I want. I looked around a bit and decided that I liked the printables available on Organizing Homelife the best. Ginny not only had dated monthly and blank daily pages, but MANY extras like menu planning, chore lists and maintenance record pages and title pages for the various sections. Even so, I still added a few pages of my own, which I will type up to look nicer eventually.
She also had some good ideas to make the binder work a little more efficiently. Here are a few that I used:
Problem1:
Wasted paper & ink and possibly a Really big binder if you have daily schedule pages and weekly menu planning pages, etc.
Solution:
Print out enough pages for one week and put them in page protectors. *Use WET erase markers, rather than dry erase, to prevent items from accidentally being erased or smudged.
Note:
It may be the type of page protectors I used but the markers didn't want to write well on the pages at first. They worked better after I had wiped down the pages. My mom suggested using waxy artist pencils as an alternative.
Problem 2:
If you use page protectors, the dividers don't stick out far enough and get lost in between the pages.
Solution:
Cut a sliver off the edge of a page protector and put the divider inside with the tab sticking out! Why didn't we think of this before?
The pictures are of the first one I did, so it wasn't too pretty. I made the others a little neater. The sheet protector is a little hard to see, you know, being clear and all, but you get the idea.
Line up your first divider with how it would be once inside the sheet protector.
Snip the edge on each side of the tab, then cut out a narrow strip in between them.
Then all you have to do is slide it in! I didn't label the tabs themselves. I put the title pages in the same sheet protectors as the dividers, so I felt it was unnecessary.
My final divider fix:
Problem 3:
What do you do with all of the little schedules, calendars and invitations you get from various sources?
Solution:
A non-tabbed divider with pockets at the end of each section. I used clear ones so they wouldn't distract too much from my section dividers.
Here is how I organized my binder:
First is a pencil pouch for pens, wet erase markers, etc. I discovered that "Window Markers" from Crayola work just as well as the Vis a Vis wet erase markers and you can get a box of 8 for about $4 at Walmart. The only drawback is that the package does not include black. I also included a small notebook in case I need to write a quick note to J's teacher.
Section1: Schedules & To-do List
In this section, I have a daily chore list and enough blank daily schedules for the week, both of which I downloaded from Organizing Homelife. Here is a sample of what mine usually look like.
Section 2: Menu Planning
The first page in this section is the weekly menu planner from Organizing Homelife, which has three spaces for each day. She also has sheets for "Recipes to Try" and "Freezer Inventory". I wondered why there wasn't a planning/shopping sheet to list the ingredients for the recipes you are planning to cook, so I just added a sheet of notebook paper for that. I also made a Pantry Inventory sheet and a sheet of ingredients that need to be used soon for the freezer and the pantry. For now, I just used notebook paper. I'll make a prettier version later. I keep the school's menu for the month and a grocery list in the pocket at the back of this section to help with menu planning.
Section 3: Calendar
Obviously, this is where the calendar is. ;) At the front, I put the birthdays and anniversaries sheet from Organizing Homelife. Then the 2 page per month calendar. In my calendar, I color code appointments and events by family member, church (since I'm on several teams) and horses (since that's my "job" and needs to be well documented). At the end, I put my school contact info, health & insurance info and babysitter info. And I keep invitations, sports schedules, and any other calendars in the pocket of this section.
As you can see, I'm just getting started on filling it all out!
Section 4: Maintenance
For this section, I just used the printables at Organizing Homelife. I used the one that shows all of the home maintenance things that should be done, broken down into quarterly assignments. She also has a sheet for auto maintenance, but Mike keeps track of that stuff on his computer, so I'll leave that to him. I'm going to include home projects in this section, but have not made up sheets for them yet.
Section 5: Goals and Projects
I don't have any official pages in this section, just notebook paper so I can scribble ideas and plans.
The best thing about making your own binder is that you can tailor it to your own needs. I used the Avery brand since it was inexpensive and offers Boxtop points for the school. There were a lot of printables that either didn't have what I needed or had things I did not need. I also made some of my own sheets. It doesn't take very long to make your own excel sheet if you cannot find what you want. I made my own School Contact Info sheet and will be making some for my Menu Planning section.
I also used a separate binder for recipes. I used one that was already made for recipes that I got cheap at Ollie's. I have tons of cookbooks and sometimes have trouble finding a recipe I know that I like. In the spirit of organizing, consolidating and purging, I am only putting recipes that we have tried and liked in this binder. As we go through our cookbooks and magazine recipes, etc. the "approved" recipes will be recorded and then the actual book/magazine can be donated or given to a friend.
One last thing. I do not intend to carry my big binder everywhere. I will keep it at home as a reference. I have a 5x7 inexpensive planner that I carry in my purse so I can write down appointments, etc. and then I can transfer them to the big binder when I get home.
So there you have it. That's my Home Management binder. Feel free to use or ignore any of the ideas you want. Just do what works for your family/life/schedule.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
The Sun IS Still Shining
The last couple of days here have been grey and dreary. Yesterday morning, it was so dark that J thought he had woken up too early and went back to bed! This morning, as we drove to school, J noticed that we couldn't see where the sun was.
Now, he's a smart boy. Of course he knows the sun is still there but this gave us an opportunity to talk about God and life. We talked about how, even though we can't see the sun, it is shining just as bright today as it is on sunny days. The clouds are just in the way. And eventually the clouds will move on and we will be able to see the sun again.
Similarly, there will be clouds that come in our life; times that are dreary or difficult when we can't feel God there. That doesn't mean he isn't there. He is just as powerful and loves us just as much on days that are hard as on days that are fun and easy. And if we concentrate on the knowledge that he IS there and that he DOES love us, then we can get through those hard times until the clouds pass and the sun comes out again.
So, if you are having a cloudy, dreary, rainy season in your life, just remember:
God is still there.
God is still powerful.
God still loves you.
The clouds will pass.
Now, he's a smart boy. Of course he knows the sun is still there but this gave us an opportunity to talk about God and life. We talked about how, even though we can't see the sun, it is shining just as bright today as it is on sunny days. The clouds are just in the way. And eventually the clouds will move on and we will be able to see the sun again.
Similarly, there will be clouds that come in our life; times that are dreary or difficult when we can't feel God there. That doesn't mean he isn't there. He is just as powerful and loves us just as much on days that are hard as on days that are fun and easy. And if we concentrate on the knowledge that he IS there and that he DOES love us, then we can get through those hard times until the clouds pass and the sun comes out again.
So, if you are having a cloudy, dreary, rainy season in your life, just remember:
God is still there.
God is still powerful.
God still loves you.
The clouds will pass.
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