A Scattered Start

Last year, as I began an effort to organize my house, I wrote about having a good starting point. It doesn't have to be big. It's just something to get you going and feeling like you can actually accomplish something. I know it's been a year since that post but, believe it or not, that closet is still the one organized spot in our home. Hmm...I wonder if I can cause this phenomenon to spread?

I sort of postponed the "whole house organizing" thing because I felt like my kids were getting put off too often, which was the exact opposite of what I was going for. I have been making some baby steps forward in our organization but nothing like I had hoped. Amazingly, I have actually gotten to a place where I feel like I have sort of "caught up" to a normal amount of disorganization whereas before it just seemed so impossible.

So now we're at a place where I feel like we can begin...again. Only this time, I'm going to go a little slowly and make sure there's lots of play and involvement for the kids. So, once more, I face the question of "where do I start?"

The first thing I did this time was coupons. I'm sure you all have seen and heard enough about coupons and coupon binders, etc. that I don't need to do a whole post on that. Basically I have a binder with baseball card pages. I used stick on labels to mark the first page of each section (I group by aisle) and then I put the coupons in the slots chronologically. Of course, I am notorious for forgetting to bring it, or even check it, when I go shopping. I'm working on it. The good thing about already having had the binder set up was that all I had to do was go through the pages, pull out the expired coupons and then cut out & put in the new ones. The best thing about it? J is old enough now to help me. He pulled out the expired ones and took great joy in crumpling them up (and in being amazed at how many I didn't use). Score one for bonding while being useful!

As I looked around at the many other things that needed to be done, I realized that some of them really shouldn't wait until I have completed the other challenges to get to them. Some messes/problems might even get more out of hand if left unmanaged, especially after the addition of Christmas gifts.

The result is that we are beginning a bit... okay, a lot... scattered.

Current Projects:
1. Clear out, organize and inventory the kitchen pantry and cabinets so we are better about not wasting food and know what is on hand to cook/bake with. This has become important as I have become more concerned about our son's food allergy.

2. J's legos. He suddenly has a million and the pieces are so tiny. Tell me that doesn't scream lost & swallowed pieces. He also gets frustrated when he can't find the one he wants, so we are actually organizing them by size in containers that can then go in his room away from his little sister.

3. The bonus room- it contains my office & crafts, a tv area, exercise equipment (which I'd like to downsize) and a play area. It also currently has a computer desk for "when the kids are older" but it seems like that's a lot of wasted space for something there are other options for, so it is coming down. Clearly that is a lot of uses for one room and it is cramped. It also doesn't have a ton of storage for toys, etc. I'm working on some ideas to improve both problems. It may also eventually house J's new model train, but the only way that can happen is if we do something with the exercise equipment, so we'll have to see what The Hubs says about that.

4. The attic and the garage- clear out the stuff we don't need! I am not trying to do these completely right now, especially with all of the other projects, but I do need to clear them both out some so that I will have somewhere to store things we are working on. I just have to be careful not to fill them back up with stuff from the bonus room!

Not all of the steps of these projects will be post worthy, but I will do posts on the parts that I think may be interesting or helpful to those of you reading. As always I welcome any ideas or suggestions. I figure we can all help each other and make things a little easier.

Also note that all posts about home projects will be available at Time to be Mom in the Home

Allergy Action

As everyone makes New Year's resolutions about being more organized, saving money or the dreaded losing weight, at our house we have made a resolution that affects all of these. Our (or rather My) resolution is to cook more at home.  Everyone knows that it is cheaper and healthier (depending on which types of foods you choose to cook) but it is also a time commitment both in and out of the kitchen.

For most people, it sounds good to cook at home, even makes sense to, but it is not life threatening if they do not.  In our family, it may be just that.

My son J has a tree nut allergy. Not peanuts, which is what everyone assumes when we use the term nut allergy, but tree nuts, walnuts and pecans in particular.  Something interesting about allergen families; you can desensitize yourself to some (like pet dander) by exposing yourself just a little bit at a time but exposing yourself just a little bit to others, like tree nuts, can make you More sensitive! In the case of tree nuts, even exposure to nuts that you are not currently presenting a reaction to can increase your sensitivity to ALL tree nuts.

At first, we didn't worry too much. I mean, after all, he had made it almost four years before his first reaction. We figured, "okay, we just won't give him foods with nuts in them. No big deal." Then he had not one but TWO anaphilactic reactions to foods that did not have nuts in them. They had been processed on equipment that had been used for foods containing tree nuts, specifically walnuts- that's his big bad one. So then we became very conscious of checking labels for potential tree nut traces.

J's birthday is right at the beginning of the school year. I figured it was a good chance for him to make friends at his new school, so I planned on bringing cupcakes for the class. Due to allergies like his, our school disctrict only allows store bought foods to be shared with the class. After DAYS of searching, I could not find any store bought cupcakes without tree nut warnings. I did find a bakery where the owner said they could clean their machines real good the day before and make his cupcakes the first batch of the next day but there would still be no gaurantee that all the traces would be gone (and for only $55 for 24!!!). So I finally ended up making cupcakes just for J so he could have one he could actually eat (the rest are in the freezer for other students' birthdays) and buying a regular batch for the other students. I realized that I had to be careful even with the ones I made at home. Many of the boxed mixes still had tree nut warnings.


We ran into a similar situation this holiday season. We all got sick, so rather than cooking dishes for gatherings, I decided to buy some. It took me twenty minutes at a fairly large store to find One dessert with no tree nut warnings I could bring to a party. I had also planned on getting some baguettes & bruschetta for an appetizer, but the Bread had tree nut warnings! Even some brands of sandwich bread have tree nut warnings!


I also began to wonder how many times he had eaten something with traces of nuts he doesn't react to. I thought of all the times we had eaten at restaurants, used mixes, etc. Had they been making him more sensitive without us even realizing it? After all, by the time he was tested by the allergist, his reaction to walnuts was so severe that it gave pause to the allergist who then "prescribed for us to carry not one, but two epi-pens at all times.


So, out of concern for the well-being of my kids, I am making a resolution to cook at home more. Baked goods in particular seem to be our culprit, so I will be experimenting with lots of recipes to find a sandwich bread and a more dense French/Italian type for dinner recipes. Of course I'll do desserts as well. I mean, what is a kitchen experiment without desserts?


I'll be sure to take pictures and share what does and doesn't work with you as well.  I'll be posting full recipes and reviews on Time to be Mom in the Kitchen

If anyone has any ideas on recipes to try or tips on bread baking, which I am new to, please feel free to share. I hope you will find some that will be useful to you!

Happy baking!

A Good "Waste" of Time

You may have noticed that I have not blogged much, ok any, in the last year. I actually had a really good reason for that.

You see, one of my main goals was to be there for my kids and make sure that they were getting enough time and attention.  Between trying to catch up on all of the house stuff that had gotten behind during my pregnancy and following knee surgery (I was basically out of commission for over a year), it seemed like I was always telling them to wait just a minute or until I finished X and rarely had time to play. So I made a commitment to change that.

I pretended it didn't bother me that everything stayed behind. I took the time not only to be with my kids but to "study" them as well. I want to make sure that we really understand the core personality of each child so that we can develop methods of discipline, reward, teaching and loving that reach them best.

The results have been amazing!

My son J in particular, who is very extroverted, really needs that social connection.  If he feels like no one is paying any attention to him, he will do something to GET your attention, regardless of the consequences. He is also a strong willed child, so he's willing to take some pretty tough consequences just so long as he did the thing he set out to do.  Interestingly, he's also emotionally sensitive, so if he's having an SWC  (String Willed Child) day, which means discipline, he also can start to feel hurt by our getting on his case. That's usually when he starts with the attitude stuff (which is my "you will NOT" stuff).

I have learned that, if I start his day with some cuddles and "I love you"s, he is much more likely to have a positive spin on his day. I've also learned that, since we're both extroverted (read LOUD) and emotional, I have to make sure that I am being matter of fact and not upset when administering consequences or we both end up getting upset.

One key thing I learned about doing that was something I heard from Cynthia Tobias in an interview on Focus on the Family. She said strong willed kids need "more tickets (consequences) and less lectures". The more we lecture, the more they tune out and the more upset we become until we are reacting disproportionately to what the actual offense was. Also, for strong willed kids, they need to know that there ARE consequences and if all you do is lecture, there are never any consequences.

The other thing that I learned was that if I set the consequence in motion after the second chance rather than the fifty-second, it was a lot easier for me to be calm and matter of fact about it!

So far my daughter, B does not seem so highly affected by these things, but then she automatically gets a little extra cuddle time, etc because she is younger and a little girl (which apparently makes everyone want to hold her). She has a strong willed side too, so we'll have to see how that plays out as she gets older.

One thing I have tried to do with both kids is take some time when we get home from picking J up from school is to be available to play. I aim for an hour. Time outside, weather permitting, where they can run and scream (They like to scream. Apparently we're the loud family) and play. And then, when we have to go back inside, I try to either get them to play where I'm working (like if I have to do dishes in the kitchen) or take what I'm working on to where J is playing (because B will go wherever we are). That way, even though I'm not actively playing anymore, I'm there if one of them has a "watch this mom" moment.

Now, with all of that said, it has not been a perfect road by any means. There have been Lots of days when one or all of us has not done or responded the way we should have. However, we are on a much better path now than we were a year ago and, since who these kids are inside is more important to me than anything on the outside (or the inside of my house), it was a year well wasted.

And I even managed to make some headway on the house. But I'll post more about that later.

My "Dream Big" List

For those of you (out of my whole two readers) who might be interested, here is my list.  It contains long term and short term goals.  Some will never be met simply because there is just not enough time to do the many things I would like to do and, if you haven't noticed, time management is NOT my strong suit.  I guess that's where prioritizing and being realistic come into play.

One of my goals used to be to ride in the Olympics.  Then I learned how expensive it is to take the many steps to get there- I didn't have the money or the connections to the people who would spend the money on a kid like me. But...thanks to my very supportive husband, I still get to have and work with horses (if I could just make time to ride).

Here are some current dreams/goals:
-Take a horseback riding vacation (ideally across Ireland where you can ride from inn to inn- if the kids get into horses, this can wait until they are old enough to go)
-Go on a cruise with Mike
-Take the kids snorkeling at a coral reef (when they're older, obviously)
-Have a clean and organized house so that I can have friends over and our kids can invite their friends over (I want to have the "hangout house" for the kids)
-Ride on a regular basis and compete again (not setting a level goal for this- first I've got to get back in the saddle, then the show ring)
-Have enough lesson students that the horses are paying for themselves
-Write my books!! Yes, I said books- it's a series...with a sequel series if I ever get that far and people are buying them.
-Spend time volunteering and involve my kids (the three big groups on my heart are home-bound, homeless, and imprisoned)
-Get in shape. I'm not worried so much about size (as long as Mike still likes me) but I want to be able to run and jump and ride and play with my kids. I want us to be an active, outdoor family and I think that starts with me.
-Cook at home. It's healthier, cheaper and would make use of the Thousands of cookbooks, magazines and other random recipes I have stashed around the house.
And the big one: Become better at time management- schedule out my to-dos ahead and actually do them when they are scheduled! Maybe I should have put this one first. It affects my ability to complete ALL of my other goals! Yeah, I'm working on it, but don't hold your breath. Not sure if I forget to put things on my list  or just don't get to some of the "need to be done" items, but somehow there is an "Oh, crap! I forgot to...!!" almost every day. And then I'm back to scrambling to catch up.  Mike thinks I just forget to check my list (which has been known to happen), so he has set me up with a phone with a calendar that I can set alarms on and Evernote so I can make as many lists as I want/need.  Like I said, I'm working on it.

Wish me luck! And good luck to you on yours!

Plans, Not Resolutions

Every year, we all make resolutions to make some improvements on our lives.  For most of us, we also fail to live up to those resolutions every year.  Why is that and how can we change it?  I think it is largely in the way we approach our resolutions.  The word resolution means that you are resolving in your inner being to put all of your effort and energy and will power into making this thing happen.  So why doesn't it?  Probably because we have lost sight of this meaning. 

When we make our resolutions, we make grand sweeping and very generalized statements like "I'm going to lose weight/get in shape/be more organized/spend more time with my kids".  Then we go on about our lives expecting these things to change somehow.  Sure, we might start out cutting way back on our food intake and clean out the junk drawer in our kitchen and play with our kids until they go back to school, but then what?  Then we get back into our hectic schedules and scrambling to keep it all together and any changes fly out the window before they have taken root.

This year, I am not going to make any resolutions. I am going to make plans.  There has been study after study to show that, to succeed in accomplishing a big project (loosing weight, organizing the house), you need to break it down into smaller portions and create a step by step plan. 

Two things happen when we try to tackle something like that without doing this preparatory step first:
1.  The task seems too big and daunting and we don't know where to start.  We might get started but soon become overwhelmed at the magnitude and quit.
2.  With no clear direction, we become easily distracted by other (smaller and easier to complete) tasks and loose focus on completing this one.

I'm sure you all know how to make a plan, but just in case you'd like some advice, here is a general idea of how to break down those big goals into a workable plan.
1. Start with your big ideas. Take some time and make a list of ALL the things you'd like to do, even that trip to Paris.  No, you're not going to be able to do them all this year.  This is the beginning of your plan for far beyond this year. 
2. Prioritize your list.  Exercising and eating right are things that I always push onto a back burner but, when I think how important teaching my kids healthy habits and being able to play with them is, I realize it needs to be a much higher priority.  You also might be surprised at how much you really want to take that trip to Paris is to you.
3. Go back and change your list from general ideas to specifics.
 "Lose weight" becomes "lose 20 pounds". 
 "Get in shape" becomes "exercise 4 days a week".
 "Get organized" becomes "keep house clean" and "make a schedule/plan ahead so we aren't always running late"
 "Go to Paris" becomes "go to Paris for a week on our 10th anniversary"
4. Now take each item and break it down into steps. What needs to happen to complete the whole task? Some, like exercising 4 days a week requires no preparation except allotting time in your schedule for it and choosing what activities you want to do for exercise.  Others, like keeping the house clean or the trip to Paris, will require multiple steps.  The smaller you can make your steps, the easier the task will seem because you will have specific directions and almost immediately be able to check items off.
5. At this point, you need to be thinking about time frames.  Some of these tasks are ongoing.  For those, you need to look at your schedule and allot time for them each day/week.  For the big, one time goals, set a time frame in which you want it to be completed. Otherwise, it will keep getting pushed aside.  Remember that you may not have time to accomplish all of these this year, but you might still want to begin preparing for some of the future ones (like saving money for that trip). Be realistic about how much time you have available to work on your projects.  don't forget to allow extra time for unplanned things to come up!

My two main projects for this year are to work with my horses more and to get my house organized so that it will be easier to clean up.  The long term goal for both of those is that I can use them to invest in my relationships with people. I want to be able to go riding with my kids & friends and I want to be able to invite our friends over without having to worry about the house being a disaster if they say yes!

I'll tell you what. I'm going to give myself a reason to get the house done. Once it's cleaned and orderly, I'm going to have a party!
Have fun planning what you will do when you complete your goals!

Taking Advantage

With all of the projects that Mike & I have been working on, we've had to make sure we take the time to cuddle and play with the kids whenever we get the chance. That was easy on vacation but now we're back home with our giant to-do list. After a week of not feeling great, our whole family has gotten sick. While being sick is no fun, we are taking advantage by having a pajama day to cuddle and watch movies. Cleaning & decorating can wait until my kids have been loved on and we all feel better.

Finding Each Other in the Frenzy

In the past few months since my knee surgery, Mike and I have been frantically trying to catch up on all of the things that needed to be done around the house. We have gone through (most of) the piles of stuff that had accumulated, replaced our bedroom floor, painted the bedroom, replaced our living room couches FIVE times (don't get the Palmdale sofa at Rooms To Go), cleaned out our bonus room and garage, put shelves up in three closets and an attic and pulled everything out of our closet and attic and redid them so we could fit all our clothes in our closet (not to mention washing all those clothes). Sound like fun? Maybe. If I wasn't trying to do it all in just 2 months so we could relax on our vacation. Mike is one of those people who can't really relax knowing he is leaving a big pile of unfinished tasks behind. Three good things came of aloof this though: 1. The local charitable organizations received lots of good clothes, etc., 2. We got many of our long awaited projects done, and 3. Mike and I got some valuable time together and he was able to relax on vacation. For me, #3 made it all worthwhile. There is something about dreaming and planning, then working on something together. Sure, one of us could probably have done it alone (although not as quickly), but working on these things together gave us a chance to remember what a good team we are and share some laughter at our shortcomings. Now we can look at the physical evidence of what we can accomplish together. In the inevitable frenzy of the holidays, don't forget to find the ones you love and take some time enjoying them.